


After

by runielwink



Series: nielwink from indonesian [5]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: All characters have upgraded age, Alternate Universe - Demons, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, minor hodumaroo, minor panwink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2019-07-07 12:36:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 31,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15908397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runielwink/pseuds/runielwink
Summary: Jihoon woke up with a new title, home, belongings, and an identity which he wasn't sure about.A demon's mate.





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [After](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/414804) by justohsehungirl. 



> Yes, hello, finally you met me again. Please don't be bored with me and what limited capabilities I possess to bring you some translated stories because watering the tag needs to be done daily haha. 
> 
> I was going to translate another miniseries from Ayu, but it is terribly angsty and NWSS just ended and I don't want to disrupt all the fluffy mood, so let me bring you this plot-ty series from Diva (justohsehungirl) instead, as I initially promised! 
> 
> Things will be confusing at first. Heck, it was confusing for me, but the revelation will be worth it. Stay tuned!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wattpad culture is to include some accompanying pics to be the title's visual. Check the [original prologue chapter](https://www.wattpad.com/504136724-after-prologue) to see the nielwink in this story~

As long as Jihoon remembered, his life was almost perfect. 

 

He was a senior-year university student, who had also been published as a young, famous author, whose works were beloved by the people. He had parents who loved and fully supported him, a handsome older brother who doted on him, best friends who were always there for him, as well as a fiancee who was a young, handsome businessman who would marry him right after Jihoon finished his graduation ceremony next month. 

 

His life was perfect and full of joy. 

 

However, that morning, Jihoon woke up in a huge mansion which belonged to a widely-known cold, handsome neurologist and lecturer. A mysterious man with millions of darkness shadowing behind his firm stature. 

 

Jihoon wanted to escape, but he wondered how. 

 

Here, his story began. 

 

As Kang Daniel's mate. 

 

**_\- AFTER -_ **

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains panwink. And no Daniel in sight. Yet.

Jihoon ran as fast as he could. His short legs began to feel weary and wobbly. He had stumbled and fallen more than just once or twice. Those alleys were empty and quiet, leaving only the sound of rapid shoes steps against the road and Jihoon's panting breath in a shambles. 

 

That night was so dark; the only light that salvaged it were the faint reflection of the moonlight and flickering city lamps as Jihoon desperately tried to find a hiding place. Even if he screamed, no one would've heard nor cared. He was alone. 

 

His adrenaline pumped faster, followed by the quickening heart beat inside his ribcage. Fear, regret, panic were all clawing at the edge of his breaths which had felt suffocating for him. That man hoped that he hadn't seen  _it_ , hoping that this was all just a dream, an illusion, just like what he had been having before this night. 

 

Until suddenly, the figure had appeared out of thin air right before his eyes, and somehow, Jihoon was already trapped in a dead-ended alleyway. Darkness shrouded  _it_. The minuscule amount of light that usually shone was entirely swallowed by the darkness of the night. 

 

Jihoon's body trembled violently--he slowly stepped back. He wanted to run, but his feet were too frozen to move anything more than that. 

 

The figure approached him with a smile that made Jihoon gag. Jihoon kept stepping backwards while  _he_ kept stepping forward, until Jihoon realized that he was completely trapped between the high walls of the building and the firm chest of that horrible creature. 

 

The figure smirked victoriously as it saw the frightened look in his Jihoon's gorgeous eyes. Yes.  _His_. 

 

Jihoon tried to dunk his head down when  _he_ tried to bring  _his_ face closer to Jihoon. 

 

Blood. Jihoon had the urge to throw up when he smelled the blood from  _him_ right in front of Jihoon, because he couldn't erase the memory of what he had just seen. 

 

Jihoon wanted to dodge, but the large and strong arm suddenly held his chin in place, capturing his red eyes. 

 

Jihoon's tears already filled to the brim of his eyes. "Please don't do it," he faintly begged in despair. 

 

"There's no coming back, angel," the smirk came, the only second it allowed Jihoon before his oh-so inviting lips were reaped domineeringly. 

 

Jihoon fought back, punched, even pushed. But all his efforts were futile.  _He_ was too strong, too dominating, even the force  _he_ put on his grabbing hand had hurt Jihoon's wrist. 

 

Jihoon was weak. His tears had fallen. He didn't want to give in; he wanted to fight, to run. However, all at once the realization dawned on him. Maybe God did hate him. Maybe this was the price he had to pay for living that perfect life before this. 

 

**\- AFTER -**

 

 

Jihoon wakes up panting hard. His whole body is sweating profusely, trembling intensely. He switches on the bedside lamp and drinks a glass of water which he can find on the drawer next to the bed. 

 

After controlling his breath and feeling calmer, Jihoon combs his hair. It's 2.15 AM from what he can glance on the brown clock on the wall not far from him.

 

Jihoon rubs his temple, trying to remember what has just happened. The nightmare was too terrifying. It felt too real. Just remembering the glimpses of it makes him shiver involuntarily. 

 

"I have an overly active imagination," he murmurs softly while smiling at his fantasies that managed to invade his dream. It's still too early to be awake, so Jihoon turns off the light and decides to go back to sleep. 

 

* * *

 

 

"So, when will you come back?" Jihoon asks, holding his phone between his tilted chin and shoulder while his both hands are busy pouring the cereals into the bowl for his breakfast. 

 

 

" _Three, four days more, perhaps. What's wrong, babe? Do you miss me that much?_ " the person across the phone asks the question that succeeds in carving a smile on Jihoon's face. 

 

"Yes, I really miss you," Jihoon answers, snickering. He sits down and stirs his bowl of cereal with one hand, while the other hand holds the phone properly. 

 

" _I miss you too, wifey,_ " comes the tease from the man whose status is his fiancee. 

 

"Not yet, Mr. Lai," Jihoon answers with flushed cheeks. 

 

" _All right, I need to go, babe. See you soon, love you._ " 

 

"Cheesy. But love you too," Jihoon says to end the phone call from his fiancee. Guanline, his best friend from childhood who's going to end up as the man holding up the sacred vow with him not long after this. 

 

Jihoon quickly finishes his breakfast to get ready to go to the campus, managing the things related to his graduation which is only two weeks away. 

 

* * *

 

 

"Your nightmare was so bad that you couldn't breathe and had cold sweat?" Daehwi asks curiously. 

 

Jihoon nods as he drinks his orange juice. 

 

"That's strange. You never even had any nightmares before," Jinyoung comments, taking a seat beside Daehwi to join them while putting down his tray of food. 

 

"How can you be so sure? It's possible that Jihoon-hyung just didn't tell you about them," Daehwi asks to respond to his boyfriend's comment. 

 

"He tells me everything," Jinyoung casually remarks, insensitively. 

 

Jihoon nods in agreement again. 

 

"Don't tell me that the both of you are still that close? You guys aren't doing things behind my back, right?" Daehwi asks jealously. Of course, even if they're all close friends, Jihoon and Jinyoung used to be a thing! That issue never fails in making Daehwi burn in jealousy whenever they both still show off how close they are.  _Right in front of his salad_. 

 

Daehwi's accusation makes Jihoon snicker across him at the jealous acts, while Jinyoung only sighs in the seat next to him. 

 

_Thump._

 

"Ouch!" Daehwi whines when Samuel Kim suddenly comes out of nowhere and lightly hits his skull with a spoon. Daehwi looks upwards. "Ya! Why are you hitting me!?" 

 

"What are you thinking, he's engaged and he'll be married soon," Samuel utters carelessly while walking around the table to sit beside Jihoon. 

 

"Who the hell allows you to hit him!?" Now Jinyoung is the one getting agitated at Samuel, who sits right in front of him, being startled by the sudden display of anger. 

 

"A-a, hey, I didn't even hit him that hard!" Samuel defends himself. 

 

"No, he's lying," Daehwi complains to Jinyoung, making Samuel gape.

 

"Did it hurt?" Jinyoung asks, rubbing Daehwi's head worriedly, followed by Daehwi's nod as they completely ignore the existence of two other people across the table. 

 

They both succeed in making Samuel speechless. "Love blinds him. I need a girlfriend now," Samuel grunted in frustration looking at the two lovebirds in front of him. 

 

"Yes, find a girlfriend or boyfriend, Sam," Jihoon says while chuckling. 

 

"No. I want a girlfriend, period. If it's a boyfriend, I'll have to find someone like you." 

 

"I'm a limited edition," Jihoon snaps a retort while raising the mood. 

 

"Ah, whatever. Oh, that's right, my mom just found out that you, her favorite novels' author, was my friend. You freaking need to sign this to save my life," Samuel barrages while taking out on of Jihoon's works with "Flower" on the title; it was published a mere two months before this. 

 

"You have to pay me afterwards," Jihoon teases while signing the front cover of the book.

 

"My pleasure, your majesty," Samuel answers carelessly, whatever goes as long as he can escape his mother's wrath in case his scores this semester isn't up to par. 

 

"Hey, I need to go and work on something. See you guys later!" Jihoon bids his goodbye to his friends.

 

Library. 

 

Jihoon goes to the library, to find several reference books to find some ideas regarding his nightmare last night. Jihoon only brings a small bag out of the library, but his arms are holding a number of thick books. When he just takes a step outside, he accidentally bumps into someone, making him drop the books. 

 

"Oh God! Sorry," he reflexively apologizes, quickly getting down to gather the books.

 

The man he bumped into also squats down with him, helping him in his gathering task. They both then stand up. Jihoon expresses his gratitude after that taller male gives him the books. He looks upwards to flash a smile towards the stranger. That man is wearing a white T-shirt, blue jeans, and a denim jacket for his outerwear.

 

"Park Jihoon-ssi?" the man asks after getting a good look of Jihoon. 

 

"Oh? You recognized me?" Jihoon asks while pointing at himself. 

 

"Of course, I read your novels." The man nods. Jihoon wants to ask how the man can recognize his face, because Jihoon never really puts his full, official identity in any of his novels. He even uses a pen name. 

 

"You're reading poetry-romance genre?" Jihoon asks in slight disbelief, also to keep himself polite. 

 

"Yes, I love your writing." The man nods again.

 

"Wow, I'm glad to hear that. Thank you very much," Jihoon replies with a smile. 

 

"Well, nice to meet you. I hope we can meet again in the future," the man adds while smiling mysteriously. 

 

"Yes?" Jihoon asks curiously. 

 

"Nothing. Goodbye, sweetie!" the man flashes another attractive smile. Without waiting for an answer from Jihoon, the man walks away, leaving Jihoon with a line of crease forming in his forehead. 

 

Jihoon simply shakes his head and shrugs, before going to the opposite direction of that man. 

 

He has just walked out of the campus' gate and is about to stop a taxi when he sees a familiar figure that he sorely misses, standing not far from there. 

 

Guanlin. With his casual outfit look, he's standing, crossing his arms, leaning on a newly released silver sedan. The man faintly smiles and lifts one of his arms when he sees that Jihoon has noticed him. 

 

Jihoon is truly startled, overjoyed when he sees the man he loves being here after three weeks of not seeing each other. He dashes, puts his books down, and quickly jumps to wrap his arms around the Chinese young man's shoulders. 

 

Guanline catches him and returns the hug, inhaling Jihoon's scent while smiling. 

 

"You told me you would come in three or four days," Jihoon mumbles, still not disentangling himself from their embrace. 

 

"Well, surprise," Guanlin chuckles while answering, caressing Jihoon's back. 

 

Guanlin, who only gets back that day from Hongkong, can only take Jihoon out for dinner because he has other things to take care of. Guanlin feels guilty because he still can't spend more time with his sweet lover. However, for Jihoon, all of that is more than enough. He knows how busy Guanlin is, and Jihoon isn't the type of lover who demands much either. 

 

However, there's one thing that slightly nags him at the back of his head. Among all the things that they're talking in that short date, Guanlin never once touches the topic of their wedding. Even when he takes Jihoon back home, the other man chooses to stay silent.

 

Come on, Jihoon tries not to drop the mood by refraining from prodding. Guanlin looks troubled, yet he doesn't tell Jihoon what's in his mind. It makes Jihoon slightly disappointed, but he decides it's better to just wait. His lover may simply need more time. 

 

Jihoon enters his apartment feeling exhausted. After taking a shower and tidying up the place, he initially wants to go straight to sleep. But his head is filled with so many stormy thoughts. The images of his nightmare the night before start floating back in. 

 

Jihoon finally decides to just stay up and walks towards his desk. He takes out the books that he has borrowed earlier from the library and opens his laptop. Jihoon opens his work files and starts a new page. 

 

' **Prologue** '.

 

He types that word to open up a whole new story. 

**\- AFTER -**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mystery begins.

The morning light peers through the large window with an open curtain. Jihoon crunches his nose, slowly opening his eyes, and stretches his body.

 

After gathering sufficient amount of his consciousness, Jihoon starts paying attention to his surroundings.

 

He's suddenly aware that right now, he's not inside his own room. Even though he's not that sure, the bed that he's sleeping in was made from a solid teak wood with classic design.[This room](https://em.wattpad.com/6db49e46fef2d096dfa69c2bca142b3f7e481feb/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f423367532d51396f5f6f737765513d3d2d3530383736363134342e313530346235343164616539323762393334323830343031303334342e676966?s=fit&w=400&h=400) is far larger than his apartment, with dark wallpaper, creating a luxurious, classic, and elegant atmosphere.

 

Jihoon examines his body. He's wearing an oversized white shirt and long black trousers right now. He tries to dig through his memories about what happened, where this is, and how he got here, but unfortunately, his memory about that is all gone.

 

He really cannot remember anything. He has even forgotten the last things he did before he went to sleep, and how he possibly can wake up in this stranger's room. The only thing he can figure out right now is his name. Park Jihoon.

 

Jihoon slowly gets out of he bed and starts walking around the room. Observing one thing after another, which might give him some clues or information. But it's useless. This bedroom is just like a hotel room. Only _furnitures_ , without any personal belongings.

 

Jihoon walks towards the window, just in case he's really inside a hotel room for a work trip or something similar. However, what he finds on the other side of the glass is a frontyard, surrounded by tall, white fences.

 

After pondering for a while, Jihoon finally decides to get out of the bedroom. Just like his initial thought, this house is huge enough to be called a mansion. The bedroom where he woke up is situated on the upper floor, the one on the end of the hallway.

 

Jihoon sees a stair leading towards the ground floor. Even the floor looks so classic, heavily influenced by European style. _Where on earth is this?_ , he thinks like that again.

 

As he walks downstairs, his legs bring Jihoon towards a dining room which faces right across the frontyard that he has seen earlier. There's a long dining table inside the room.

 

Not far from there, there's an open kitchen, and Jihoon sees a young man with white T-shirt and black track pants. His brunette hair is dyed, because judging from his skin and outfit, Jihoon is convinced that the young man is an Asian.

 

"It's not often that you get mesmerized by me, _hyung_." That man suddenly turns over with two plates full of food. "Sleeping well? Sit down, I've cooked breakfast for you too," he says while putting the food on the dining table.

 

Jihoon is still trying to process what's happening, thinking about the identity of that man. No, he's not even sure about his own identity at this point.

 

The man is about to take a first bite, but his hand stops when he realizes that Jihoon is still stoned to the floor, looking all bewildered. "Hey, why aren't you eating yet? You always eat my food with gusto," the man asks while looking puzzled too.

 

While hesitant, Jihoon eventually sits down. "Excuse me, but may I know who you are?" he asks.

 

"Good joke," the man says carelessly, focusing on eating his breakfast.

 

"I'm not joking. Who are you?" This time, Jihoon asks with slightly more demanding and firm tone.

 

The man chokes on his food. Jihoon stands up and hands over his glass of water to him.

 

"That was really _not_ funny," the man utters after swallowing a gulp from Jihoon's glass.

 

"I told you I wasn't joking," Jihoon defends himself earnestly, and that turns the color in the other man's face.

 

"Kang Jihoon, you really didn't recognize me?" the man asks curiously.

 

"Kang Jihoon?" Jihoon repeats with a mumble to the surname that the slightly younger man in front of him calls him with.

 

"Come on! It's me, Woojin. You truly didn't recognize me, hyung?" the man asks again.

 

Jihoon shakes his head unsurely. Woojin, the young man, exhales a sigh before pulling Jihoon to sit on the couch in the living room, in the middle of the house.

 

"Are you studying a drama script under _hyung_ 's nose? I can help you then?" Woojin asks again.

 

Jihoon hits Woojin's head in irritation.

 

"WHY DID YOU HIT ME?" Woojin shrieks.

 

"I'm not joking. Explain who you are, where this is, and how I get here," Jihoon snaps impatiently.

 

"What do you mean who I am and where this is? It's your home, and you can say that I'm your brother-in law. What happened to you, hyung? Did you bump your head in that accident? Ah, that's right, you fell yesterday, but you told me you were fine!?" Woojin barrages nonstop in confusion.

 

"Hold on, slow down, Woojin. My brother in la- no, I was in an accident?" Jihoon asks bewilderedly. 

 

"You didn't remember that? Two days ago, you hit the road fence. It wasn't that bad, but Daniel-hyung insisted that you had to fully rested. He even told me to stay here to keep you safe while he's doing his job," Woojin explains. 

 

"Daniel?" Jihoon mumbles, trying to absorb all the information that gets shoved into his throat all of a sudden. 

 

"Yes, Daniel-hyung. Your husband? Don't tell me you don't remember him either," Woojin presses. 

 

He is married? Jihoon's mind analyzes the situation. 

 

"Where is he? Daniel, can I see him?" Jihoon asks. 

 

"He's gone for about an hour, he'll be back this afternoon." 

 

"Then let me call him. Give me your phone!" Jihoon orders. 

 

Woojin lazily rolls his head. "Jihoonie, Daniel-hyung doesn't use any phone. Are you sure you're okay?" 

 

Jihoon shakes his head for an answer. "How can--" Jihoon curbs down his urge to protest and chooses to think about other things, more pressing things, and interrogating the young man in front of him. 

 

* * *

 

 

Jihoon sits in a daze inside the bedroom where he woke up earlier. It's been two hours since he opts to go back here with the excuse to have some rest. Feeling bored, Jihoon walks towards the window to take another look outside. 

 

Not long after he's standing there, Jihoon sees a black Audi car entering the house's yard. The car makes a stop. Not long afterwards, a man in all black suit steps out of it.

 

 _Could that be Kang Daniel?_ Jihoon thinks without stopping himself from staring. But didn't Woojin say that the man would only be back this afternoon? Jihoon cannot see his face clearly, until that man lifts his head and stares straight at Jihoon. 

 

Jihoon is frozen. That man doesn't speak, doesn't even give him a smile. He's only silently observing Jihoon before tearing his eyes away and enters the house. Jihoon blinks repeatedly, trying to guess who that man is, and if he's here to meet Jihoon. 

 

Jihoon can feel his heartbeat starts to pace more rapidly. What happened? He's not sure either. 

 

Click. 

 

The door to his room is open, displaying the figure that he has seen downstairs clearly. After another look, that man isn't in a black suit, but in a very dark brown suit. His tall stature combined with broad shoulders make him look very domineering. His dark brunet hair is combed neatly, showing his unblemished forehead. Meanwhile, the sharp gaze of his stern eyes makes Jihoon flinch a little. 

 

That man closes the door, and only then his expression melts into something more calming, as if trying to provide some warmth. Or it can be something that Jihoon's mind feeds him because he's a  _little_ mesmerized by the breathless handsomeness that the man in front of him possesses. 

 

"Who are you?" Jihoon murmurs faintly, as if he doesn't want to be heard. 

 

That man clearly hears him, but he chooses not to respond. He walks closer towards Jihoon instead. Jihoon is bewildered, his whole body is frozen and his breath is held captivated for every step that brings that man closer to him. 

 

The man walks in silence before stopping a few mere inches in front of Jihoon. 

 

Gathering all the courage that he possesses, Jihoon stares straight at that man's black eyes. Again, he feels enthralled by the beauty of those irises. 

 

"Are you Kang Daniel? Who are you? And why am I here?" Jihoon asks softly, but firmly. 

 

No answer. It makes Jihoon frown. 

 

After a while, that man's hand moves up towards Jihoon's face. Those cold fingers touch his cheek, sending electrifying buzz across Jihoon's body. 

 

Jihoon is mystified, he wants to avoid that hand, but he doesn't know what to do. 

 

That man simply smiles. 

 

"I'm glad you're okay, angel," he utters. 

 

**\- AFTER -**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Daniel](https://em.wattpad.com/b6d2a9dbb56b9d2e02f9a73f1eeb0cc97f4b7b02/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f79616550616e37787439763642413d3d2d3530383736363134342e313530373739613939666366653639613738393635353834353838372e6a7067?s=fit&w=400&h=400) and [Jihoon](https://em.wattpad.com/7c30d95d8083f3026ed92bde912d4b01be11a083/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f717575356d3453465667464448513d3d2d3530383736363134342e313530373739616364306335343562633633323033333239363033342e6a7067?s=fit&w=400&h=400) as the author imagines in this chapter. 
> 
> Yes, this should be a timeskip.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three people living in the same house.  
> Two friends that he can't remember.  
> One man who lost his brother. 
> 
> The mystery deepens.

That man lowers his arm back down before putting his hand into his pocket. 

 

"Woojin told me. How are you feeling now?" he asks plainly.

 

"Uhm, I'm fine," Jihoon pauses. "Are, are you Daniel?" he continues, trying to confirm it. That man responds by simply smiling before leading Jihoon to sit on the edge of the bed. 

 

Jihoon stays silent while following the lead. Daniel already gets his knees to the ground, kneeling in front of Jihoon and taking one of his arms. "Yes, I'm Daniel. You're going to be fine, don't worry," he says with a faint smile. 

 

Jihoon is about to ask a few more questions, but the ring from the phone on the drawer beside the bed he woke up in holds him back. 

 

Daniel signals for Jihoon to keep his question by putting his forefinger on his lips, before walking towards that phone. 

 

"I know you must be really confused right now, but I'm sorry, I have to go out of the city now. And this week my schedule might get too packed." Daniel glances at the black watch on his left wrist.

 

"I'll be coming home late. Woojin will be here instead. You should take some rest," he says while making a light squeeze on Jihoon's shoulder, along with his faint smile. 

 

With that short speech, Daniel disappears behind the door.  _'Is this the real life that I'm living on?_ ' Jihoon thinks. 

 

* * *

 

 

Daniel goes home so late. Consecutive accidents caused by a stag just happened, making the traffic jammed and Daniel can only arrive home at 1 AM.

 

He opens the front door, and finds Woojin sleeping soundly on the couch, with the television screen flickering light in front of him. Daniel sighs. He walks closer then switches it off. 

 

"Woojin, go to sleep in your room," Daniel says, trying to wake Woojin up by shaking his shoulders. 

 

"Here's fine, hyung," Woojin mumbles before covering his face with a pillow. Daniel relents and takes his feet away from that spot. 

 

He's going to enter his study, but he remembers there's another person that he has to check upon. His Jihoon. 

 

Daniel walks upstairs and opens the master bedroom's door. The lights are off, while Jihoon already curls up comfortably beneath the blanket. 

 

Daniel walks closer, stares at him long enough, then pulls the blanket up. He cannot deny that Jihoon looks so ethereal while being unmoving with his eyelids closed like this. 

 

"Good night, angel," he whispers softly, then goes out of the room. 

 

**\- AFTER -**

 

Jihoon spends his time alone in the bedroom for the umpteenth time. He's merely lying down, trying to sort through his memories. Daniel has already gone for a few hours since earlier this morning. It's been almost a week since the first time Jihoon woke up in this house. However, Jihoon can only catch the glimpses of Daniel all this time. That man goes early in the morning, and even when he goes back home a bit earlier, he'll only spend his time in the study room, which is banned from entrance for Jihoon, according to Woojin. 

 

There are a few other things that Jihoon cannot fathom. Even though Daniel never fails to check up on him in the bedroom every night, Daniel has never slept with him, not even once. Jihoon is also the only one who's wearing a white band in his ring finger. For a blissfully wedded pair, aren't they too stiff around each other? 

 

Meanwhile, Jihoon has started getting bored to stay in the house. He wants to go out, the house is located quite far from the city's bustling streets, and Daniel signals for him to stay and recuperate obediently in the house. What a life he has. 

 

 _Knock knock_...

 

"Hyung, it's Woojin. You haven't eaten breakfast yet, right? Do you want to order out? It's too late to cook anything." Jihoon hears the snort from Woojin right outside his bedroom. 

 

Jihoon opens the door and finds the latter standing up with both arms crossed, leaning on the wall just beside the door. 

 

"Let me cook, then," Jihoon says, walking ahead of Woojin.

 

"Hey, are you serious that you're going to cook?" Woojin asks in disbelief as he tries to halt Jihoon's steps. 

 

Jihoon turns around. "Let's see what we have." He winks. 

 

Jihoon begins by cutting the onions and garlic with some expertise. However, as soon as the stove is turned on, everything turns into a mess. The food is overcooked, making Woojin panic and snorts in disbelief because he's the one who has to wrap up everything. Meanwhile, Jihoon has already fled the crime scene. 

 

"You're such a mess, Jihoon. Sit there and just let me do it," Woojin instructs him impatiently.

 

"I'm helping too-" 

 

"No," Woojin answers without leaving any room to argue, breaking Jihoon's spirit. 

 

In the end, Jihoon gives in and just sits obediently, feeling astonished when he witnesses the true expert of cooking, Woojin. 

 

Woojin chooses pasta as his menu this time. 

 

"Enjoy your meal, Madam," Woojin says while putting the food right in front of Jihoon. 

 

"It looks amazing, Woojin," Jihoon murmurs, his eyes are sparkling when he sees the food. 

 

"Well, I hear that way too often." Woojin joins by sitting beside Jihoon and starts digging into his own plate. 

 

"This is truly delicious," Jihoon comments after savoring the taste. 

 

Woojin smiles confidently. That man then stands up, takes the TV remote, and switches it on. 

 

"Hey, Woojin," Jihoon calls. 

 

"What?" 

 

"Tell me about Daniel." 

 

"You're the one who is his wife, why are you asking me?" 

 

"Why do I have to be his wife?" 

 

"Okay, you're his husband." 

 

"You know that I remember nothing. And I haven't got the chance to ask." 

 

Woojin snorts. "All right. What do you want to ask?" 

 

"What does Daniel do for a living?" 

 

"He's a neurologist. A doctor, really, but he also lectures everywhere." Woojin takes another spoon of his breakfast. 

 

"What is he doing out of the city?" 

 

"Research. Maybe." 

 

Jihoon nods. "When did I marry him?" 

 

"About a year ago? I don't remember the exact date." 

 

"Then why haven't I seen any single picture displayed in the house? Not even the wedding pictures? And does neither of us have any other relatives?" Jihoon asks. "Ah, no, no. In the first place, is my relationship with him not that good before?" 

 

Woojin puts his plate down. "I'm sorry, Jihoon, but those questions are better asked directly to the man himself," Woojin answers while sighing. "Well. I gotta go to the campus after this," he says, standing up and putting away his dishes. 

 

"This is Saturday, you don't have any classes in your schedule," Jihoon retorts. 

 

"Professor Kim told me to meet her this afternoon." 

 

"She switched it to Monday." 

 

Woojin's eyes were open wide. "How did you even know that!?"

 

"That Im Youngmin told you," Jihoon pointed at the new message notification on Woojin's phone screen, making the latter hide his phone. 

 

"Ah, you're right. But I'm a busy student. I, uh, I have to join an organization activity. Yeah, there's a meeting, actually," says Woojin to reassure him. 

 

Jihoon folds his arms in front of his chest with scrutinizing eyes at Woojin's direction. "..."

 

"Ugh, okay, fine, stop staring at me like that. I just want to go out with my friends. Satisfied, now?" Woojin roughly sighs. 

 

Jihoon lowers his arms before smiling widely. "And can I come with you?" he asks with sparkling eyes.

 

"Huh? No, no way. Daniel-hyung told you to recuperate." 

 

"Oh, come on. I feel like a prisoner in this house. Come on, let me come with you. I won't even bother you. I'll just walk around your campus, and library, maybe?" 

 

"One, Daniel told you to stay at home. Two, Daniel told me to keep you safe and ensure that you stay at home. Three, if he somehow finds out that I leave you alone and go out with my friends, he'll kill me. Four, if he finds out that I leave the house and take you with me, he'll kill me again even when I'm buried deep in my grave. Shame on you, hyung." 

 

"Woojin, I'm not a kid. I'll be fine." 

 

"You lost your memories." 

 

"Okay, let's put that aside first. I'm all right, though? He doesn't even bring me to any doctor. Trust me, I just want to breathe some fresh air." 

 

Woojin ponders for a moment. "What will you give me in return?" 

 

"Hm, how about an action figure! I know you like them. I'll buy one for you," Jihoon offers, recalling how often he sees Woojin's obsessions towards toys. 

 

"I can buy them myself."

 

"2?" 

 

"No."

 

"3?"

 

"I already have too many."

 

"Ugh, okay, three action figures, and..." Jihoon glances around, then his eyes catches an ads for helicopter model on the TV. "...that helicopter remote control?" Jihoon points at the screen. Woojin turns around, and his eyes go round. 

 

"Deal. Use your jacket, it's quite cold out there," he says, standing up and grabbing his own jacket."

 

* * *

 

 

Jihoon steps out and sees Woojin, who's already looking all swag with the large motorcycle beside him. "Whoa, your bike is so cool, Woojin," he compliments. 

 

"This is my beloved. Get on, let's go." 

 

-  **AFTER** -

 

"Good afternoon. It's nice to meet you, my name is Hwang Minhyun. I think we're of the same age, so you can think of me as your friend, Ong Seongwoo-ssi," says the man cladded in white coat, while reaching out one of hsi hand. 

 

Seongwoo, on the other hand, only sits still before throwing his face to the side. 

 

Minhyun smiles and retracts his hand. "How is your day?" 

 

No answer.

 

"What are the things that interest you?" 

 

Still no answer.

 

"I hope we can do a little bit of sharing," Minhyung continues. 

 

Seongwoo smiles condescendingly. "Are you a psychiatrist?" 

 

Minhyun smiles to confirm. 

 

It brings out another sneer on Seongwoo's face. "You're the same as others then. I might look crazy. Everyone thinks I am crazy." 

 

Minhyun slightly tilts his body forward to convince Seongwoo. "You are here to prove them all wrong. I'll believe in you," he replies gently. 

 

Seongwoo visibly shakes. Minhyun can clearly see the fear, regret, and doubt emanating from Seongwoo's black eyes. 

 

"Tell me, I'll help you," Minhyun whispers gently. 

 

Even though he's hesitating, Seongwoo starts telling his story with his head hanging down. "I-" Seongwoo begins with slightly trembling voice. "I have a younger brother," he continues. 

 

"However, from what testified by your parents and the family registration, you are the only son of the family?" 

 

"No!" he shouts flustered with emotion. Minhyun nods when he sees Seongwoo's reaction. "None of them believed me, not even myparents. They. They're all going to forget my baby brother," he murmurs. 

 

"He acts very spoiled, but only with me. He shows his mature side in front of everybody else. His smile is beautiful that he can make everyone to fall for his charms." 

"But he died, and then he disappeared. And, I couldn't remember why. Even when he disappeared, no one remembered him. I'm a bad brother, I'm the worst brother. I'm--" Seongwu turns panic. 

 

Minjyun holds Seongwu's both arms so tight, trying to reassure the other man. "It's okay, you're all right. Everything is going to be okay," he says, searching for shards of collectedness in Seongwoo's eyes. 

 

-  **AFTER** -

 

Jihoon finally sees the outside world again. It feels strange, because somehow it feels as if he hasn't done this for years. 

 

They arrive at Woojin's campus, which somehow feels quite familiar for Jihoon. Woojin told Jihoon to come back in this spot at 4 PM sharp, then disappeared in a blink once he met his friends. 

 

After looking around long enough, Jihoon decides to go to the campus library. 

 

He has already spent three hours inside the building. Even though he's not going there to read, Jihoon feels alive when he walks down the aisles separated by tall bookshelves. [That library](https://em.wattpad.com/b07d4568fafb813075cbace51a4b5f4d5eda29af/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f7968314d6154303356464e4b6f413d3d2d3532303837383435372e313530633134383563633336613234633137373931353739353431322e706e67?s=fit&w=400&h=400) is one of the biggest and has one of the most complete collection in that city. 

 

He loves libraries. The quietness and the new things he finds there. 

 

" _Where?_ "

" _Library._ "

" _You love the campus library too much_." 

" _Haha, if I'm offered, I can live here forever._ " 

 

Jihoon feels dizzy, enough to make him almost stumble, but thankfully someone holds him up. 

 

"Are you all right?" asks the man whose body is slightly taller than Jihoon. 

 

Jihoon controls his body so he's more balanced. His helper is still there, giving him a concerned look even though he's still a stranger. Jihoon shows a light smile. "I'm okay, thanks." 

 

Even though he seems to doubt it, the man whose face is completely non-Asian nods his understanding. 

 

"Samuel, honestly! You really need to stop using the library to take naps-" 

 

They both looks to the source of the voice, who suddenly stops. A young man with slim stature wrapped in yellow sweatshirt makes Jihoon want to squeeze him for being so cute. 

 

"Oh, hello there," he greets when he sees Jihoon.

 

"Hello," Jihoon replies with a warm smile. 

 

"Are you sure you're all right?" the man named Samuel asks him again. 

 

"Oh? Yeah, I'm all right. I just felt a bit dizzy earlier." 

 

"Thank goodness. Nice to meet you, by the way. I'm Samuel, and this is my friend, Daehwi."

 

"Nice to meet you," Daehwi joins in.

 

"I'm Jihoon. Nice to meet you too," Jihoon replies. 

 

"Apologies beforehand, but it seems that we have to excuse ourselves. See you around, Jihoon-ssi," Daehwi bids his goodbye before dragging Samuel outside. 

 

Samuel also smiles before they both disappear behind the exit door. 

 

Jihoon doesn't know why, but the faces and names of those two look and sound very familiar. But he shakes his head. If they really knew each other, they must have recognized Jihoon's name. 

 

Jihoon sighs. It seems that he's had enough time looking around by himself. He still needs more time to recuperate. 

 

He decides to walk outside and meet Woojin. He steps out of the building and closes the door behind him. It's pretty cold outside since it has entered the time of the fall season. Jihoon wraps his outerwear tighter and slightly rubs his palms together before starting to walk away. 

 

"Jihoon?" 

 

Jihoon hears someone calling his name. Hesitantly, he turns around to see who that is. Jihoon's eyes slightly go round in shock, but he still tries to hide it. 

 

"D-Daniel?"

 

-  **AFTER** -

 

"You're very lucky that you still have those beautiful memories with him." Minhyun smiles while praising the other man. 

 

"How I wish it were. In reality, I feel suffocated," Seongwoo murmurs indistinctly. 

 

"Now, can you tell me his name?" asks the man in the white coat. 

 

Seongwoo throws him a sorrowful look before hanging his head down again. 

 

"He has a beautiful name, just like himself." 

" _Park Jihoon_ , the only brother I once had," Seongwoo continues almost in a whisper. 

 

"Yes, that's a beautiful name, Seongwoo-ssi," Minhuyun replies, his words full of meaning. 

 

-  ** _A F T E R_  **-


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jihoon wants to remember. The good and the bad. The love they once had.
> 
> But Daniel...

-  **A F T E R** -

 

"Jihoon?"

 

Jihoon turns to look at the owner of that voice. In that direction, Daniel is already standing, waiting for an explanation. There's no surprise when Daniel walks towards him. 

 

"Where's Woojin?" Daniel asks, sighing. 

 

Jihoon clamps his mouth shut. "I, don't know. He's going out with his friends," Jihoon replies matter-of-factly. "Come on, I was just bored. You're always gone and you never let me go out. I feel like a prisoner," Jihoon defends himself. 

 

Daniel exhales heavily, even though it's clear that he has never intended to berate Jihoon in the first place. Still, Woojin won't be able to escape being the target of his wrath. 

 

Daniel wants to laugh when he sees Jihoon's funny expression, but he manages to keep it in. 

 

"Have you eaten yet?" Daniel asks without responding to Jihoon's previous defensive argument. 

 

Jihoon raises his eyebrow. He thought Daniel would've done a long interrogation about his presence out here all of a sudden, and without Daniel's prior knowledge. 

 

"I don't think you have. Let's go," Daniel decides for him before holding one of Jihoon's hand to walk by his side. It sends a certain electrifying sting to Jihoon when the man holds his wrist. 

 

All the way to the parking lot, Daniel never stops getting people to greet him, whether they're students or a campus staffs who pass by, but they also gives a strange look towards Jihoon who's walking with Daniel at the same time. Jihoon snorts when he realizes just how famous Daniel is in this neighborhood. 

 

"Good afternoon, Mr. Daniel," a girl with bright red hair greets Daniel. 

 

"Oh, hi Claire," Daniel greets her back. 

 

"And..." The girl glances hesitantly at Jihoon. 

 

"My partner," Daniel answers as he recognizes what's going on. 

 

"Oh, good afternoon Mr. Kang, I heard quite a lot about you," the girl greets Jihoon with a warm smile, whereas Jihoon can only respond with a slightly awkward smile. 

 

"These are the assignments that you asked me to collect for you, is there anything else I should do?" Jihoon observes how the girl talks to Daniel, so animatedly, as well as Daniel's responses towards the pretty girl under that Claire name. 

 

Perhaps, Jihoon can breathe easier because Daniel only responds plainly. But hold on right there, did Jihoon just feel jealous? Only because Daniel is constantly surrounded by beautiful students who flock to him? Jihoon shakes his head faintly. 

 

"Are you okay, Ji?" Jihoon gets out of his trance when he hears Daniel's question. 

 

That girl is still there, throwing a look at Jihoon that he can interpret as slightly pissed off. 

 

"Ah, yeah. I'm fine," Jihoon reassures. 

 

Daniel nods that he understands. "That's all, tell the others that next week the class is cancelled," Daniel tells Claire. 

 

"Why, Prof?" the girl asks dejectedly. 

 

"I think we're done here, so please excuse us," Daniel smiles faintly before continuing his walk, without forgetting to hold Jihoon's hand in his grasp. 

 

"Do all of your students act like that?" Jihoon asks as they walk. 

 

Daniel turns sideways to Jihoon. 

 

"I mean, speaking to you informally. Or is it just her, are the two of you that close?" Jihoon elaborates, trying hard not to look at Daniel directly. 

 

Daniel stops right before his silver car. He turns around, completely facing Jihoon. "Not really." 

 

"You knew her name." Jihoon wants to bury himself right that second when he realizes what he has just spoken out loud. 

 

"She's just one of the more diligent students in my class. I don't really pay attention to honorifics either, as long as they're acceptable. You don't have to think about it too much," Daniel explains with a bit of smug chuckle. 

 

Jihoon's cheeks burn up a little after hearing Daniel's explanation. Honestly, he's  _not_ acting like a jealous highschool girlfriend. But Daniel's answer manages to send him a clean hit. 

 

"Let's go!" Daniel says, dislodged his grasp from Jihoon's hand, making the younger man feel like something is missing when Daniel walks towards the car's driver's seat. 

 

Jihoon is confused. He doesn't know why, but fear assaults his senses all of a sudden when he's obliged to open the passenger's seat in the front without having Daniel's hand to hold his. Jihoon quivers from the fear, but he's not sure what he's afraid of either. Or why does it attack him all of a sudden. His chest starts to feel suffocated. 

 

Jihoon can only stay frozen to the ground, not even daring to glance at Daniel. 

 

Daniel realizes that and closes his door before making his way around the car towards Jihoon. 

 

That man smiles at him reassuringly, holding Jihoon's hand again, but this time he doesn't leave out Jihoon's fingers, lacing them with his. 

 

Jihoon looks at Daniel with slightly stunned expression. The fear and suffocation that almost clawed on him just suddenly disappears into thin air. His heart ripples once more when their fingers meet on that man's accord. Giving Jihoon a warmth and security that he cannot fathom. 

 

"It's okay. I'm here with you, Angel," the man says gently, giving Jihoon such a reassuring look that everything is going to be okay. 

 

_Jihoon is lost once again. Nothing is happening, no one is hurting him, but why does his chest often feel pained suddenly? And Daniel, he sends Jihoon the feeling of secure, protected, comfort all too easily, shoving away all of his abstract fear by just a single physical touch. And Jihoon, he just feels grateful for Daniel, who is by his side right now._

 

"Are you all right?" Daniel asks after quite sometime has passed. Jihoon nods slowly. Daniel finally opens the car's door and leads him inside, not leaving before clasping the seatbelt securely around the handsome young man. 

 

Daniel then enters the driver's seat right away and starts up the engine. He glances at Jihoon again, ensuring that the young man is doing okay. 

 

"Daniel," Jihoon whispers. 

 

"Lately, I've been hearing and seeing fragments of obscure shadows that I cannot recognize. My heart hurts when those shadows come. What are those? Do they have something to do with the past that I've forgotten?" Jihoon asks in a low voice while looking at Daniel. 

 

For Jihoon, Daniel's expression is too hard to interpret. That man only smiles, again, gently squeezing the back of Jihoon's hand. 

 

"That is because you're not feeling good, dear. You'll be better soon. I'm planning to go to the hospital where I'm working at after lunch, you can see my friend later," Daniel explains. 

 

Jihoon nods his understanding. Daniel drives his silver Audi out of the campus' vicinity. 

 

-  **AFTER** -

 

Daniel brings Jihoon to a cafe nearby. It's quaint, far from being extravagant. The atmosphere in the cafe brings comfort because there's no crowd of customers. 

 

They sit across each other next to the window on the upper floor. Jihoon observes Daniel, who's ordering food for them. Jihoon realizes that this is the first time he spends so long with Daniel, even just for having lunch together. 

 

Daniel finishes ordering the food, then the waiter leaves them alone with each other. 

 

"Have you always been this busy?" Jihoon asks, catching Daniel's attention from the street that he found fascinating before. "Even after I got into an accident?" Jihoon adds to the question. 

 

"Yes. I'm always this busy," Daniel answers as it is while looking downwards. "Forgive me," he continues. 

 

"Daniel," Jihoon calls . 

 

Daniel's eyes go back to focus on Jihoon. 

 

"Can you tell me how we first met?" 

 

Daniel smiles at Jihoon's question. "We first met here," Daniel replies shortly. 

 

Jihoon's eyes widen, he waits for more that Daniel can tell. 

 

"And in the campus," Daniel adds. "You were one of the students there. And you used to spend your afternoon here." 

 

Jihoon chuckles. He has never expected that their first meeting would be that unique, a lecturer and a college student. 

 

"What about my parents, brother? I've never heard anything from them since I lost my memories," Jihoon asks again. 

 

"You're an orphan, Ji. So am I." 

 

Daniel's answer dims the smile in Jihoon's face. Jihoon realizes that he's being insensitive with his question. He never even expected that that could be a possible answer. Daniel's eyes are so dark. Has Jihoon just put himself as priority first? 

 

"Oh, that's saddening," Jihoon replies dejectedly. "How about Woojin? Is he your blood-related brother?" he asks, changing the topic. 

 

"I brought him in when the boy was only six," Daniel answers.

 

Jihoon nods his head repeatedly while trying to digest everything.

 

"Daniel, can you describe it more to me? About us?" Jihoon asks again with hopeful, careful tone. 

 

"You're just the most beautiful person I've ever met. You're really kind and warm towards anyone. Diligent and mature. You like reading, writing, and can spend hours in a room filled with books," Daniel explains. "And I fell for you the moment I first saw you," he continues plainly. 

 

Even so, Daniel's curt and plain explanation succeeds in making Jihoon blush on the spot, especially with the last sentence that he heard from Daniel's lips. 

 

Jihoon starts to feel convinced that he led quite a happy life before this. With Daniel, who was stiff but never failed in giving him comfort. Jihoon wants to remember everything. Jihoon wants to know each passing moment, that he has forgotten about. Jihoon, he wants to know the next chapter of his story with Daniel, that Daniel loves him, despite all the doubts clouding his mind all this time. 

 

"Daniel," Jihoon calls again, with such a soft, gentle smile. "I want to know more. I want to remember everything again. I want to remember all the things I've forgotten, whether it's a good or bad memory. And I, want you to help me with that, Daniel," Jihoon asks sincerely with his sparkling eyes. 

 

Daniel only lightly smiles as a response. And yet it's enough for Jihoon. He clicks his tongue happily and starts eating the food that the cafe's waiter has just served him. 

 

Daniel hasn't eaten his food yet; he's busy watching over Jihoon instead as the latter eats his lunch scrumptiously. Daniel wishes that time can stop, and everything stays like this. Just like how he never wishes the future to happen. 

 

_If only you know, how I wish that you'll never regain those memories._

_Because those are your misery. And I want to erase them forever for you._

 

 

-  **A F T E R** -

 

*extra*

 

"Oh God, Daniel-hyung will definitely murder me. Park Jihoon, come on, where are you? Shit, why don't I have his contacts? It seems that I have to start writing my dying will now." - Park Woojin.

 

-  **A F T E R**  -

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was merely 2 paragraphs away from the ending of this chapter yesterday, but nielwink backstage content distracted me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A stranger. A choice. A call to stay.

True to his words, Daniel brings Jihoon to the hospital after lunch to see one of his friends. He gestures towards Jihoon so the latter going to the waiting room, because he has some issues to address momentarily. 

 

"I'll be right back," Daniel says before leaving the place. 

 

At first, Jihoon is only sitting and observing the busybodies around him. It gets boring. Jihoon doesn't like sitting around without doing anything. Taking a stroll won't be that bad, right? This is still the environment where his husband works, after all. 

 

Almost every nurse and doctor whom Jihoon passes by greets him. Oh God, is Daniel that popular? 

 

Jihoon continues walking, pausing when a nurse accidentally bumps into him. 

 

"Oh my God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," she bows down several times. Jihoon nods and smiles faintly. "It's okay." 

 

The woman's clothes are marred with blood stains. She's sweating and seems to be in a rush. Jihoon holds her arm to keep her still. 

 

"Did something happen?" Jihoon asks. 

 

The nurse nods weakly. "A chain accident. One bus, the brake is totally gone, and hit several cars in front of it." 

 

Jihoon nods to show that he understands and unlatches his grip from the nurse's arm. He just realizes that he has been in ER section—and right now, from what he can see, it is quite an emergency. 

 

The doctors and nurses on the shift are running back and forth to pick up the accident's victims who come through endlessly. Senior elders, mothers, school children, and toddlers are also among them. They're all heavily wounded, and the smell of blood is truly pungent. 

 

The sound of family's cries, children in pain, and shouts between doctors and emergency responders fill the room. 

 

All at once, panic assaults Jihoon's system.  _Again_. His chest feel suffocated, making it difficult for him to breathe. All those noises make him dizzy. 

 

He wants to scream, but his tongue is tied. His breathing becomes erratic. The sound a child's cry in that end of the room somehow starts to turn deafening, making him even dizzier. 

 

_ "Blue code, blue code." _

_ "Mommy!" _

_ "His heart stops, Doc!"  _

_ "Please save my son! Oh God, please! Baby, you have to wake up!" _

_ "Over here!" _

_ "This needs to be amputated!" _

_ "Blood type?"  _

_ "COME HERE, HURRY!" _

_ "_ _We don't have enough mattress, bring more!" _

_ "Add the bandage!"  _

 

The shouts resound in the room.

Jihoon's headache now crawls to his chest. It's so painful, as if a thousand needles are stabbing him there. He wants to ask for help, but no one seems to care. There are more urgent matters. 

 

His feet start losing their strength, requiring Jihoon to latch his palm against the building's white walls to support his body from falling down. Now, even his head is filled with those unrecognizable voices again. 

 

Jihoon scurries away with a herculean effort, hoping those voices will disappear soon, and for his panic to dissipate. 

 

_ "Hey, Jihoon?" _

_ "Your novel has been released yet?" _

_ "Sunbae! I love your writing!" _

_ "Jihoon, that reference is boring!"  _

_ "Congratulations! You'll graduate very soon!" _

_ "Hyung loves you, little bun." _

_ "Chicken. Your favorite."  _

_ "Mom loves you too, Ji. It's not just me." _

_ "I won't be long, baby?"  _

_ "Hey, sugar, I miss you." _

_ "Park Jihoon, will you marry me?" _

_ "I love you." _

_ "Forgive me, Angel."  _

"Are you all right?"

 

Jihoon's consciousness returns. A young man in suit and long white coat synonymous to a doctor is watching him with concerned look. 

 

Jihoon's eyes are watering, he's panting for breaths. He's still under a post-panic attack and he looks around him. ER. Written right there. But in reality, the condition he's staring at can't be any more different than what he has just seen.

 

That room isn't crowded at all. There are no nurses or doctors running to make their ways. No heavily wounded patients, only several people with light to medium degree of wounds—probably just from a fall. 

 

There are no panicked shouts, children's cries, or clothes drenched in blood. Everything is normal and fine. 

 

"Jihoon-ssi?" Jihoon turns around again to see that man. He's a little alarmed that the man knows his name, but Jihoon's mind is too chaotic to ponder over that. 

 

"Are you all right?"

 

Jihoon's pale lips quiver, his legs feel powerless, and he has almost fallen to his knees. However, the other man reacts faster to keep him from that by holding both of Jihoon's arms. 

 

Calming himself down after going through that kind of episode, Jihoon finally removes himself from the man who eyes him in puzzlement. 

 

"I, I'm sorry. I'm just a little dizzy."

 

* * *

 

 

Jihoon sits on one of the benches in the hospital's park. The man, of whom Jihoon recognizes as one of the doctors there and helped him earlier, is walking towards Jihoon with a cup of warm tea. 

 

Jihoon feels slightly flustered, but he accepts it and nods his gratitude. 

 

"Kim Donghan," the man says with a charming smile. 

 

"Pa-, Kang Jihoon," Jihoon replies while smiling faintly. 

 

"I'm a recent newcomer here, only for about one month. I'm from the same department as Dr. Kang." 

 

"So you know Daniel?" 

 

The man laughs softly. "Just as acquaintances, it's rare for me to see him around. The professor must have been busy with the lectures and his research," Donghan explains. 

 

Jihoon nods that he understands and responds with a smile of his own. That man is handsome and tall. He looks kind, and his smile is really warm. 

 

"We've met once before, in the campus. But I don't think you remember it." 

 

Jihoon raises one of his eyebrows. "Ah, really? Did we get the chance to chat?" 

 

The man's expression changes slightly, but then he smiles a little awkwardly. "Not really, but from there I gathered that you were Prof. Kang's spouse." 

 

Jihoon nods before sipping the warm liquid inside his takeaway cup. 

 

"By the way, what are you doing? I mean, for a job, perhaps?"

 

Jihoon chuckles. "It's okay. Yes, I'm working, I'm a wr..." Jihoon cannot finish his sentence. 

 

The word rolls right on the tip of his tongue, but he's not sure with what he wants to say. He's working? What is his job? Why has it never occurred to him to ask Daniel about it? Or at least to the brat that Daniel assigns to take care of him? 

 

Jihoon hangs his sentence, unsure of what to say. He lifts his head and accidentally catches the sight of Daniel, standing not far from there—staring at him with eyes full of concern,  _perhaps_? 

 

Donghan turns around like him, and nods. That man then faces Jihoon. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to trouble you. You don't have to answer it."

 

Jihoon refocuses his eyes to Donghan. "Your husband is here, I should leave now." 

 

"Oh? Pardon me, I wasn't clearheaded enough. Why are you rushing? You can chat with him first."

 

Donghan only offers a polite smile. "I don't think it's a good idea. Besides, I remember that I have a few things to check," he dodges. "Then, I'm leaving. It's nice talking to you, Jihoon-ssi." 

 

Jihoon replies with a smile, albeit a bit confused. "Thank you, Donghan-ssi." 

 

Then the man is gone. Jihoon sees him pass by Daniel, who comes approaching. Donghan pauses a moment, bows politely to greet him that Daniel responds to half heartedly, then he disappears around the building. 

 

Daniel walks closer. "I've been looking for you everywhere. Are you okay?"

 

Jihoon smiles lightly. "I was lost. I just got a little dizzy." Jihoon isn't entirely lying. 

 

He cannot read Daniel's expression for a few seconds, and then the man sighs heavily. He steps towards Jihoon, removes his outer coat, then wraps it around Jihoon's shoulder. 

 

"Dr. Kim helped me," Jihoon says, halting Daniel's actions to a pause. "Did you know him? He said he just got reassigned here. He's from the same department as you. Seems like a good guy." 

 

"I don't know, I'm not too sure. Don't get too close with strangers." Daniel straightens up. "We're seeing my friend now. He's a psychiatrist. You told me you had troubles sleeping; you can talk to him about it." Daniel offers one of his arms. 

 

Jihoon glances at the hand Daniel offered and Daniel's face in turns, before finally standing up with Daniel's help. 

 

* * *

 

 

"It's nice to see you again, Jihoon-ssi," the man with white coat like Donghan's greets him with a warm smile. 

 

On the left side of his coat, there's a pin with  _Hwang Minhyun_ written on it, along with a series of titles. 

 

Jihoon snorts inwardly.  _Is every doctor in this hospital a god's incarnate? —_their appearances are perfect. 

 

Jihoon takes the hand just as warm as the doctor offers. 

 

Minhyun clears his throat to glance at Daniel, who's been sitting on the couch nearby, reading the magazine that originally was on top of the coffee table. 

 

"Mr. Kang, excuse me but you can wait outside," Minhyun asks. 

 

"You can go on, I won't disturb you," Daniel replies as he likes. 

 

"One of the most important thing in a counseling is confidentiality. _Mind to leave your ass outside_ while I'm still asking you nicely?" Minhyun's tone is still the same as before,  _very_ soft and gentle. 

 

Daniel sighs before standing up. He glances Jihoon for a moment. 

 

"I'll be fine," Jihoon mouths soundlessly, smiling to reassure the other man. 

 

With that, Daniel steps out of the room. 

 

"Just call me Minhyun, treat me like a friend, so you can be more comfortable." 

 

Jihoon nods. 

 

"So, how do you feel?" 

 

"Feel?"

 

"Yes, everything that you've felt since you woke up without remembering anything. Isn't that so?" 

 

Jihoon pauses for quite a while. "I...

 

...I feel confused." 

 

"You feel confused?" 

 

"I'm unsure with myself. Everything. As if I lost half of my life." Jihoon pauses momentarily there.

 

"Daniel. I don't recognize him at all. He said I'd be fine, and maybe my memory would return on its own." Jihoon sighs. 

 

"Today is the first time I went out of the house. I met many people that I didn't recognize, but somehow felt so familiar. Sometimes, I feel dizzy. But it's just a bit of headache, and I agreed to keep resting in the house like what Daniel asked me to. However, I gradually have harder time to sleep, and I feel fear without any sensible reason. I've even started hearing voices I can't recognize, and that makes this area in my chest painful. So painful I want to die." 

 

"Does Daniel know about this?" Minhyun asks, twirling his pen. 

 

Jihoon ponders for a moment. "I don't think so. He only knew I felt dizzy and a bit scared." 

 

Minhyun nods. "You said something about voices you couldn't recognize. Can you tell me more about it?" 

 

"I'm not sure. Those voices sound like pieces of conversation with different people. And, some of them called my name. I, I'm really confused." 

 

Minhyun then closes his notebook and shuffles closer to Jihoon. 

 

"Jihoon-ssi."

 

In his confusion, Jihoon turns around and looks at Minhyun. 

 

"Someone once told me. That everyone has a choice in their lives. Either to remember their bitter memories, even though that memory will haunt them in every step they take. Or, they can forget everything bitter, but they'll have to lose a huge part of their life story." 

 

Jihoon frowns as he tries to understand it. 

 

"Those voices might just be a call from your subconscious, the part that wants to surface. The memories that left their marks on you, but your brain rejects them so hard." 

 

That man smiles meaningfully. "You don't need sleeping pills or anything like that. Only a firm will and support from your closest ones, and for the latter, I think Daniel can provide for you." 

 

"It's your choice. To raise it up to the surface of your consciousness, or to bury those stories forever and start a new life as the current Park Jihoon." 

 

Jihoon falls silent, sinking into his deep, deep thoughts. 

 

* * *

 

 

In their way back home, Jihoon is silent, unlike usual. Daniel occasionally asks him something, and Jihoon only makes curt replies. 

 

As soon as they arrive at home, Woojin is already standing in the front door, welcoming their arrival. Prepared to get spicy scolding from Daniel. 

 

However, Jihoon only faintly smiles at him, and so does Daniel, who simply ignores Woojin and enters the house behind Jihoon. 

 

Before going upstairs, Jihoon glances at Daniel's office that he has never stepped into, even once. 

 

"Dinner?" Daniel asks while touching one of Jihoon's wrist. 

 

"I'm not hungry. I think I just want to rest," Jihoon refuses the offer softly. 

 

Daniel nods and slowly removes his touch. "All right, freshen up. Then, rest well. I'll see you upstairs later." 

 

With that, Jihoon climbs the stairs up, heading towards his bedroom to clean up and get ready to sleep. 

 

It's been more or less an hour. At the moment, Jihoon feels refreshed with the vanilla scent that he loves, already in his pyjamas. Jihoon lies down under the blanket while looking at the room's ceiling. His thoughts are all pointed at what Dr. Minhyun told him previously. 

 

It's possible that everything is connected to his memories, to his past. And the reason why he never really feels the need to remember all those things. 

 

And also, Daniel. His husband. The man who should be the closest to him, somehow can't feel anymore further, mysterious and unreachable. There are so many things that he wants to ask, but he fears for the answers that he may not want to know. 

 

Knock... Knock...

 

"Are you asleep?" Jihoon hears Daniel's voice outside the door. 

 

"Oh? I haven't. Come in." 

 

The door is open, showing Daniel in his casual look—a pair of black trousers with maroon sweater, as well as a pair of specs with silver frame, hanging on the bridge of his tall nose. 

 

He walks towards the bed before sitting on the edge. "How are you?" 

 

Jihoon moves to sit up, but Daniel keeps him, putting him back on lying down. 

 

"Better." 

 

Daniel nods. 

 

"Daniel," Jihoon calls. 

 

"No going out on your own," Daniel cuts, as if he has already guessed what Jihoon wants to say. 

 

_Shit, did he read my mind?_

 

 

"Let's say that I read your mind. I don't like what you did this morning, Angel." 

 

Jihoon sighs. 

 

Daniel chuckles. "I never meant to put you in a cage, as if you're a prisoner. Forgive me if I ever made you feel that way," he says gently. 

 

Jihoon looks at Daniel meaningfully. 

 

"I think you're going to be fine. It's okay to breathe some fresh air outside, but not on your own. At least keep Woojin with you, don't wander by yourself."

 

Jihoon laughs at Daniel's reprimands, which sounds like he's talking to a young child. 

 

"Woojin has his own life too. You have to stop dictating him. And I'm not a child either, Daniel." 

 

"I won't accept any argument," Daniel replies. 

 

Jihoon chuckles. "All right. Not alone. Got it." 

 

Daniel replies with a smile, before standing up. He pulls Jihoon's blanket until it covers Jihoon's neck. 

 

"Sleep well. Good night, Jihoon," he whispers. 

 

Jihoon smiles. This warm Daniel, he likes it. 

 

Daniel leans downwards to bring his face closer to Jihoon's forehead. It makes Jihoon's heart beat races so fast when he feels Daniel's breath touches the skin of his face. 

 

However, when Daniel's lips are a mere few inches from Jihoon's forehead, Daniel stops. 

 

They're both silent, speechlessly. 

 

Daniel hesitates. He's not sure what's happening to him, and what he's about to do just now. Meanwhile, Jihoon is still consistent, frozen like a statue there without commenting on anything. 

 

Daniel then reaches Jihoon's head with one of his arms. He ruffles gently his spouse's soft hair, then straightens up. 

 

Daniel smiles. A bit awkward, then he gestures that he's leaving. As if nothing has just happened. 

 

"Daniel?" Daniel's steps halt right in front of the door when Jihoon suddenly calls out to him. 

 

When he turns around, Jihoon is already back on his sitting position, looking at him timidly. 

 

"Are you going back to work again? This late?" 

 

Daniel nods slowly. "Hm. There's not much left, though." 

 

"Uhm," Jihoon mumbles. "Accompany me to sleep. Just until I fall asleep. After that, you can go back to your work." Jihoon really wants to hit his head against the wall right in that second. His sentence feels more like a statement than a request.

 

But, hey, isn't that a given? Jihoon only asks his husband a simple request to stay there until he's asleep. Just that. 

 

Daniel looks startled at first, but his expression softens along with the chuckle that he lets out from his full lips. 

 

"Of course, angel," he teases, making Jihoon's cheeks sport a healthy blush. 

 

Daniel walks towards him once more before climbing onto the bed, lying on his side to face Jihoon. 

 

"Go to sleep, I'm here for you," Daniel whispers gently. 

 

Making Jihoon fall, into that charming smile,  _for the umpteenth time_. 

 

-  **A F T E R** -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is supposed to be posted yesterday, for a reader who likes this that much ehehehe. I'll see if I can double post today to make up for that.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The memories did unfold, bringing more questions than answers.

It's been more than two weeks since then, and this time, Jihoon has returned to the same room with Minhyun, a psychiatrist who has known Daniel for a long time. 

 

Woojin brought him here. Daniel has been gone for two days to attend an international conference about latest development of neurology science that Jihoon absolutely cannot comprehend. He will probably be back home tomorrow. 

 

Jihoon sits on the couch while observing his surroundings. 

 

"Hi, how are you feeling?" Minhyun greets him. 

 

"Good, I feel much better." 

 

"Thank goodness," Minhyun replies. 

 

Jihoon wasn't lying. Ever since that day, he has been feeling much better. His headache doesn't come that often anymore. And about Daniel, even though there's still a lingering awkwardness, their relationship has felt much warmer than before. 

 

"So, have you decided yet?" Minhyun asks straighfowardly. 

 

"Yes. I decide to open it all. All of my memories." 

 

* * *

 

 

Seongwoo walks into the hospital with apparent exhaustion. Lately, his mind has been a mess. 

 

His nightmares aren't going anywhere, making it difficult for him to sleep every night. And that disturbs his performance at the office. 

 

Seongwoo enters the empty elevator. He's going to the third floor, following his third counseling session. The elevator moves up, then the door opens automatically.

 

At the same time, someone enters the other elevator, right beside the elevator that Seongwoo just stepped out from. Seongwoo walks out and passes by that young man. 

 

Seongwoo instantly turns around to see that young man. He's about 172 cm tall, his hair is straight brunet. He's wearing a pair of slightly tight jeans in khaki color, as well as a T-shirt with coat in blue-orange color. His face, is the face that Seongwoo recognizes very much, the face that he misses so dearly, the face that he's guilty for, the face that almost makes him go insane because he almost forgets it. 

 

"Jihoonie," he whispers with a tremble. 

 

Park Jihoon. His brother, is standing right over there. Looking at him in slightly puzzled expression, before hitting the elevator button. The automatic door goes to a close before Seongwoo can really gather his wits and run to bury that figure in his arms. 

 

Seongwoo runs and shouts Jihoon's name really loud. He hits the elevator button repeatedly with a sense of urgency. 

 

Seongwoo sees the elevator moves down and stops in the ground floor. 

 

"Oh shit, c'mon!" 

 

After quite some time, finally the elevator beside it is open. There are several people inside, looking at Seongwoo bewildered, because right now, that man really looks frantically insane. To hell with everything else. Right now, the only thing he has in his mind is to see Jihoon. 

 

The elevator's door goes open, Seongwoo rushes out without caring for people's eyes around him. His eyes dart around, looking at every nook and corner where Jihoon may possibly be. 

 

Seongwoo catches it, the sight of that back walking through the lobby towards a crowded corridor. 

 

Seongwoo runs after him and shouts Jihoon's name repeatedly. 

 

That young man glances around a little before deciding to continue walking. 

 

Seongwoo keeps chasing after him and calling his name. Until finally he touches the shoulder of the man that he's convinced of to be his brother. 

 

"PARK JIHOON!" he yells as he turns that body around. 

 

Seongwoo trembles in disbelief. He takes many steps back in bewilderment. Then he laughs hard, so hard he falls to his knees. His fingers move up, rubbing his forehead even though he doesn't have the slightest hint of headache. 

 

His surrounding throw pity and confused looks at him. Some of the nurses want to ask and help him, but they hesitate when Seongwoo starts crying in his laughter. 

 

That man isn't Jihoon. He lost his Jihoon,  _again_. 

 

* * *

 

 

If Jihoon isn't mistaken, the man he met at the elevator saw him with eyes full of mirth and sorrow at the same time. His lips were about to say something, but Jihoon couldn't see it because the door shut close at that time. 

 

Jihoon prays inside his heart that whatever mental problem the man is having, he'll be all right. 

 

Jihoon walks out of the hospital. He sees several luxury brand cars lining up to a stop, and several doctors and other men in official suit stand in front of the hospital's door. 

 

Not long afterwards, a middle aged man with graying hair steps out of that car, greeted by several doctors who man the door, followed by another person who comes out of the same car. That man looks so young, clad in expensive tailor-made suit in his tall figure. 

 

He looks so calm and doesn't say much when the old man starts introducing him to several people there. 

 

Jihoon doesn't recognize him, but somehow his tears are unstoppable, flowing out when he sees that man from a distance that's not even close enough. Jihoon feels so sad, as if his heart has just been sliced open, even if he's just standing there. 

 

Jihoon never breaks his look, until that man catches him. They look at each other for quite a while. He looks at Jihoon's flustered sight. Until his attention is demanded by the crowd, who brings him in and disappears inside the building. 

 

Jihoon sighs heavily before wiping his tears away. 

 

"Why am I crying?" he whispers to himself. 

 

"Jihoon-hyung!" Jihoon turns around to the owner of that voice. There he sees Woojin who just climbs down from his motorcycle. 

 

"Hey, are you crying?" Woojin asks when he sees Jihoon's wet eyes. 

 

"I got something in my eye, let's go," Jihoon says, taking the helmet in Woojin's hand. 

 

Woojin simply shrugs and walks to follow Jihoon. 

 

In the afternoon, Jihoon goes on a shopping for some kitchen supplies--with Woojin who doesn't hide his reluctance to accompany him. 

 

Lately, besides playing games, Jihoon spends his time at home to learn how to cook, with Woojin as his tutor--if he wants to experiment. However, at least he can slowly churn out simple home cookings to enjoy together in the morning, or to end up ordering something for dinner. 

 

To hell with Woojin, Daniel never says anything much about his food. That man will eat Jihoon's handmade dishes calmly, not unlike Woojin who acts like an expert chef with his cynical comments on what the food is lacking here and there. 

 

* * *

 

 

Jihoon dries his hair and gets ready to sleep. His mind flies to the young man that he met earlier this afternoon who made him cry without reasons. It was really strange, perhaps he can ask tomorrow to Dr. Minhyun with a phone call. Or maybe to Daniel. 

 

Ah, that's right. Tomorrow Daniel comes home. Just thinking about it already makes his cheeks flush happily. 

 

Jihoon switches the light off, climbs into the bed, and slowly descends into his dream world. 

 

* * *

 

 

It was dark. Jihoon tried to tiptoe so that he wouldn't make any noise with his foot steps. 

 

He was alone, the night wind slapped against his skin harshly, making him question his own doing--sneaking alone in an empty street. 

 

Jihoon found a bush on the side of the road and managed to hide behind it. He tried to find a small gap to peek on what happened not far from there. 

 

His eyes vaguely made the sight of a man, lifting a woman with one arm--on her neck, to be precise. The woman screamed weakly, her clothes were tattered everywhere. 

 

Jihoon clearly saw the fearful look in those devastated eyes. She cried weakly, begging to be saved. 

 

Chills ran down through Jihoon's body. He should've run immediately, he must save himself before it was too late. 

 

Jihoon wished he could help that girl, but his fear and ego was too high. That man's figure was too dark, only the moonlight helped shedding some light. 

 

Jihoon was about to make his run to stop that figure, but something stopped his movement. He was utterly shocked when that guy seemed to bite into that girl's slender neck. 

 

Jihoon held his breath when he smelled the strong scent of blood gradually appeared as the consciousness of that girl gradually diminished. 

 

If Jihoon wasn't mistaken, there was an outline of something similar to tattoo slowly appeared in the neck of that mysterious figure. The tattoo looked like curvaceous writings that Jihoon couldn't read, emitting a red shine. 

 

Jihoon still couldn't believe what he was seeing. His body was still shaking violently in fear along with his heightened adrenaline rush. His heart pumped blood faster and faster as if there was no tomorrow. His tongue went stiff, his legs were stoned, and he couldn't release his breath. 

 

The woman fell helplessly, unconscious with the bite mark there--Jihoon wasn't even sure if she was alive or dead. 

 

Jihoon didn't have time to think about it when that figure recognized Jihoon's presence when the young man had no strength to even lift a finger. 

 

Even though it seemed familiar, Jihoon couldn't see that face clearly. He was too focused on those eyes. The blood red irises emitting light from that creature. They stared straight at Jihoon, as if in a signal that he was the next target. 

 

Jihoon feels dizzy and his headache appears unceremoniously, attacking all his senses. He has difficult time to breathe again, his chest felt suffocating. The voices that went radio silence for so long reappears, shouting from one end to another inside his head. They're no longer voices, even fragments of visions force their way into his already wrecked mind. 

 

 _Oh God_ , it feels like dying. 

 

_"Seongwoo-hyung! Sing me a song."_

_"Jihoon, you're a big boy now."_

 

_"Jihoonie, you know-"_

_"It's okay. Maybe we're just not meant to be together. I hope we can stay friends after this, Jinyoung."_

 

_"HYUNG! DID YOU REALLY BREAK UP WITH BAEJIN-HYUNG!?"_

_"Don't scream in my ears, Daehwi."_

 

_"Samuel, you're in a competition today right?"_

_"I won't attend it if you don't come. Promise me you'll be there, hyung."_

 

_"Samuel, library is to read, not to sleep."_

 

_"Jihoon-hyung, Baejin-hyung asked me to go out with him."_

 

_"Jihoon-sunbae, I really love your writings."_

_"Can I ask for a sign?"_

_"Jihoon, you've sent your deadline this week already, right?"_

_"Professor invited you to meet with him."_

_"My mother is your biggest fan, honestly."_

_"JIHOONIE, YOUR GRADUATION DAY IS NEXT MONTH!?"_

 

_"Hi sugar, I'm Lai Guanlin. This is our third accidental meeting. If we meet again, that means we're fated to be together."_

 

_"I don't just like you, I really like you, Park Jihoon."_

 

_"Baby, I miss you."_

_"I miss you more."_

 

_"I love you. And I would rather die than living without you."_

 

_"So, will you marry me?"_

 

_"How are you, wifey?"_

_"Not one yet, Mr. Lai."_

 

_"Jihoon, are you really getting hitched next month!?"_

_"Okay, graduation and wedding one after another, which country did you save in your past life, huh?"_

_"Jihoon, your life is too perfect."_

_"Too perfect."_

 

_"I'm a nightmare. And that was the worst experience I've ever gone through in my life."_

 

* * *

 

 

Jihoon wakes up drenched with sweat all over his body. He's panting hard, trying to inhale as much oxygen as his body allows him. His eyes are burning and wet. 

 

Jihoon is crying. Ripped with sobs while hitting his chest. 

 

Jihoon remembers. He remembers everything. His life, family, career, friends, and his fiancee, Guanlin. The man he saw last afternoon in the hospital. Jihoon remembers everything entirely. 

 

And there was no Daniel in there. Not a single speck of him. Inside his memories. 

 

After a long while, Jihoon shuts his eyes, trying to calm down. Taking deep breaths and trying to regain his self control. 

 

Jihoon glances at the clock on the wall, which makes tick-tock sound in his bedroom. It's 2 AM. 

 

Jihoon shoves his blanket away as he climbs down from the bed. He walks out towards the kitchen to get a glass of water. 

 

After feeling calmer, Jihoon puts his glass back down and tries to rub his forehead lightly. 

 

His eyes then move into the door that he has never approached before. Daniel's office. 

 

Without realizing it, his feet has brought him towards that door. He opens the knob unceremoniously and steps inside. 

 

And truly, it amazes Jihoon. This room is larger than he expected. With old European architecture decorating the room, and the tall walls of this huge room are filled with thick, probably ancient, books in countless numbers. What's more, there are antique ornaments put on a display in small drawers put in the middle of the way. 

 

Jihoon has never even imagined that this mansion was larger than he thought. 

 

He walks until he arrives in front of a large desk carved from a single wood, that looks old and classic, with a few books, pens, and desk lamp put on top of it. Jihoon walks around that desk and shifts the revolving chair nearby.

 

However, something more interesting has caught his attention. There's a small frame put downwards, that Jihoon cannot see the picture there. Instinctively, his right hand reaches to touch that frame. 

 

It's just a bit more until his fingers flip the frame over when a much larger hand grabs and holds his hand still.

 

Jihoon lifts his head to see the owner of that hand. 

 

"I do think Woojin has explicitly warned you not to come into my room. Which part of the word  _privacy_ that you don't get, _Angel_?" the figure says. And it's not in his usual gentle, flat tone. 

 

It's sharper, the aura is so domineering that Jihoon can only swallow his saliva. 

 

Daniel. That man is standing right there, in a condition that's never seen before. 

 

His hair is unkempt and messy. His clothes are ruffled and it seems he has been sweating. 

 

But, the one thing that makes Jihoon's heart thump and tremble all over is something in the man's neck. 

 

There, there's a thin outline of words written in blood red ink that Jihoon cannot understand. 

 

Exactly like the one he saw in his dream. 

 

-  **A F T E R** -

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're frustrated at this point because I was too. Sighs. We're not even 1/3 of the way, fam.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The messy truth, but is that everything?

"I do think Woojin has explicitly warned you not to come into my room. Which part of the word  _privacy_  that you don't get,  _Angel_?" the figure says. And it's not in his usual gentle, flat tone. 

 

It's sharper, the air is so domineering that Jihoon can only swallow his saliva. 

 

Daniel. That man is standing right there, in a condition that he has never seen before. 

 

His hair is unkempt and messy. His clothes are ruffles, the top two buttons are unbuttoned, and is he sweating?

 

But, the one thing that makes Jihoon's heart thump and tremble all over is something in the man's neck. 

 

Jihoon's eyes catch the more alarming sight. There's a thin outline of words written in blood red ink that Jihoon cannot understand in his neck. Exactly like the one he saw in his dream. 

 

Daniel notices Jihoon's line of sight and he pulls up his red shirt's collar to cover that tattoo. 

 

Jihoon looks at him questioningly, doubtfully. Daniel wants to walk closer, but Jihoon's next words stops him from acting out his intention. 

 

"I remember," Jihoon says. "I remember everything. My job, my family, my friends... and my fiancee." 

 

"Even in the last night I remember, I fell asleep in front of my PC screen. But you, you weren't there, Daniel. I never saw you, or Woojin, or the others, inside my memory," he says, shaking his head and stepping back instinctively. 

 

"Kang Daniel, who are you really?" Jihoon asks with slightly trembling voice. 

 

Daniel, who was expressionless at first, lightly laughs. It makes Jihoon frown in disbelief. 

 

"I'm your husband, who else?" Daniel answers between his unconvincing laughter. 

 

Jihoon shakes his head. "I'm not married. And I never planned on marrying you. No. I didn't even know you."

 

Daniel's laughter subsides. He takes a deep breath, then walks around the desk to approach Jihoon, while Jihoon takes another step back. 

 

Daniel moves his fingers towards the drawer's knob before opening it. He puts the small frame that Jihoon was about to flip open into the drawer, then shuts it close. 

 

"All righ." Daniel's sigh sounds quite loud. "You regained your memory faster than I expected. You asked who I was. Let's say that I'm your savior," Daniel explains so casually. 

 

Jihoon is thrown into deeper confusion. 

 

"Where should I explain this from?" Daniel asks, more to himself than anyone. "Perhaps you haven't remembered in the entirety of the situation. However, one thing that you should know, is that the Park Jihoon you recognized is already gone." 

 

"What are you talking about?" 

 

"You went into an accident, fell into comatose, your heart stopped beating, and you no longer breathed. And, before it all happened, I took you. In short, I took your life." 

 

Jihoon touches his forehead, feeling headache coming up from Daniel's explanation. "It doesn't make any sense," he mumbles. 

 

Jihoon roughly rubs his face. "You must've been kidding me. Don't go about it in roundabout way. What have you done to me, and why did no one remember me? Not even my family is looking for me." 

 

Daniel smiles simply and walks closer. Out of reflex, Jihoon steps back. 

 

"Do you think I look like I'm kidding, Angel?" Daniel whispers so darkly. 

 

That call usually casts butterflies in Jihoon's stomach, but now he's not even sure. If his life is going to be all right with this man, who turns out to be a complete stranger to him. 

 

The room is huge, but it feels so cramped for Jihoon when Daniel keeps walking towards him domineeringly until Jihoon's back bumps against the bookshelf behind him. 

 

Two books next to Jihoon's head almost falls, but Daniel's arm manages to reach out and keeps them in place before they can hit Jihoon's head. 

 

"I was just trying to help you. Forget everything you just remembered. Your past life has nothing to do with what you have now. Everything is gone now. And I'm not in a good mood right now, _hm_?" Daniel's whispers turn gentler. 

 

"I'm worn out, we better get some rest. Go back to your room," he continues, then he turns around and intends to walk away. 

 

"No." 

 

Daniel closes his eyes, waiting for the word that he has fully expected the young man's sweet lips will utter. 

 

"How can I go to sleep with thousands of questions screaming in my head? No, Daniel. Nothing makes sense. I'm not a kid that you can lie to all you like. What did you mean about nothing to do with my life? I'm dead? Second life? You  _took my life_? Then what are you exactly? This is ridiculous, Daniel." 

 

Daniel is trying to be patient, but Jihoon talks too much when his condition isn't up to par. Daniel turns around and lowers his head, leans his face so close to Jihoon, who's shorter than him, all of a sudden. Threateningly. 

 

"I've had enough of acting like a good husband. I'm not a good person, Jihoon. Your past life was horrible, I simply helped you out and paid back a little for my sins. You are my  _property_ now. I don't want to hurt you, Jihoon. Be a darling, I'll explain everything tomorrow when my mood is better. Understood, sweetheart?" Daniel's voice is hoarse and full of stressed emphasization. He's so close; Jihoon can even feel the warm breath yet cold feeling from that man against the surface of his skin. 

 

Daniel looks angry, and this is a first for Jihoon. Daniel's eyes look so different; sharp enough to stab Jihoon from the gaze that turns redder the more Jihoon looks into them. He doesn't know, he can't be too sure, because this room is dim. But it's enough to make shiver run down through his back. 

 

Jihoon holds his breath. Even Daniel who usually quells his fears and sends him a sense of security now feels so distanced, terrifying even. Tears are welling up in Jihoon's eyelids. Jihoon gulps down to curb his cries. 

 

Jihoon pushes Daniel away, removing himself from those trapping arms. Without looking back at Daniel even once, Jihoon starts running further, leaving Daniel towards the door, and disappears behind it. 

 

Daniel rubs his face roughly. His irises' color has turned normal again. 

 

He's not chasing after Jihoon; he only sees that young man makes his run with all the mess inside his brain right now. 

 

Daniel knows that Jihoon won't go anywhere. At most, he'll just go back upstairs and lock himself in his bedroom. 

 

It's still dark outside, Jihoon is not a thoughtless man who will follow his erratic emotion. 

 

Jihoon runs away, hoping Daniel won't chase and restrain him. Holding back his tears, Jihoon rushes to climb upstairs, then enters the room that he's been occupying for two months now. 

 

Jihoon closes the door and locks it, then leaning his back against the solid wood. 

 

He breaks into tears. Both of his hands are covering his mouth, trying to keep his raking sobs inside. 

 

His legs feel so powerless and Jihoon starts to slide down until he sits on the floor, hugging his knees. 

 

His feelings are all jumbled up. And so are his thoughts. Jihoon thought that once his memories returned, everything would become easier. 

 

His brain still cannot keep up with everything that Daniel has just said. He has died? When? How? And why did Daniel help him? Taking him away from his nearly perfect life? And then acting like a caring husband who loves him dearly, giving warmth that Jihoon keeps missing? Who is Daniel, actually? No,  _what_ is he?

 

Unknown to Jihoon, right now there's someone behind the door, listening to every chaotic thoughts in his mind. 

 

Daniel has been standing there all this time, listening to Jihoon's cries. He wants to make sure that the young man whose status is his official spouse will be all right, even if in reality he isn't. 

 

Then Daniel sits on the floor, leaning on the wall right next to the door to rest his aching back and heavy head. Accompanying Jihoon who is suffering in the puzzling maze while crying beyond that thin wall. 

 

Daniel shuts his eyes close wearily. Today he had a  _relapse_. And Daniel wishes that it isn't a premonition for something worse. 

 

* * *

 

 

Jihoon wakes up from his sleep. He glances at the clock that ticks loudly inside the silence, showing that it's currently 06.14 in the morning. 

 

The sun hasn't completely shone out yet, but it's no longer the dark of night enveloping him. Jihoon inspects his surroundings. Still the same. He's still leaning on the door, inside the same bedroom. The bedroom where he woke up for the first time almost two months ago. 

 

His eyes are puffy, Jihoon feels his whole body is aching from his bad sleeping position. His memory refers back to his meeting with Daniel last night. That wasn't a dream, but reality. And Jihoon could still fall asleep when he should have made his run from this place, to find the real truth. 

 

Jihoon washes his face. Staring at his reflection, which is a mess. 

 

Jihoon returns to the room, takes a bag and puts his wallet, several pieces of clothes, and other things that he may need inside. He pulls the zipper and closes it properly, then takes a jacket and puts it on. He's ready to leave. 

 

Holding his not-so large bag, Jihoon walks out stepping downstairs.

 

His eyes catch the sight of Daniel, who already looks as normal as usual. With plain sweatshirt in cobalt blue color and long fabric trousers in grey, he looks neat, completely different than how he looks last night: a wreckage with dark air surrounding his body. 

 

Jihoon watches as Daniel turns around and puts two plates with omelettes on the table. He notices Jihoon's presence. That man doesn't really look shocked with Jihoon's appearance which seems like he's going to run away from home,  _as he actually will be in reality._

 

"Do you want to eat breakfast first? You didn't eat anything last night, right?" the man greets as if nothing has occurred between them. 

 

Jihoon throws his face to the side and ignores Daniel. He walks past Daniel towards the front door. 

 

Daniel simply smiles. "It's useless. The address that you're thinking about right now doesn't exist." 

 

Jihoon halts his steps before turning around to Daniel's direction. 

 

That man rests his hips against the pantry behind him while crossing his arms. 

 

"Your home address. It doesn't exist. And no one will recognize you," Daniel explains once again. 

 

"I'm leaving," Jihoon says and ignores Daniel's remark, then leaves without closing the door. 

 

Daniel sighs, again, as he looks at Jihoon who stops a cab, then disappears behind the car's door. It doesn't take a long time, the car drives in the destination that Daniel has predicted before. 

 

Daniel takes a spoonful of the omelette that he has cooked, then walks to take the jacket hanging by the door and brings his car keys, to follow Jihoon. 

 

-  **A F T E R** -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What broke my heart with this, is the fact that it's hinted how Jihoon wanted to regain his memories to know Daniel better, to know how they love each other, if ever, before all of this. :'(


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If even you forget me, who should I blame about that?

-  **A F T E R** -

 

Jihoon stops a cab and tells the address of his parents' house to the driver. 

 

The only thing inside Jihoon's head right now is how his parents and brother, Seongwoo, are doing. Do they not miss Jihoon at all? Or have they really, completely forgotten Jihoon? Just like the absurd story that Daniel told him before. 

 

Before going to his parents' house, Jihoon stops at the campus where he studied before, meeting his friends because the driver couldn't recognize the address that Jihoon meant. Jihoon has to go see Jinyoung, because they live in the same area, only two blocks away from each other. 

 

As soon as he arrives in the campus gate, Jihoon's eyes quickly catch the sight of Jinyoung and Daehwi, walking together to enter a building. Jihoon immediately makes a run and grabs one of Jinyoung's arms. 

 

"Jinyoungi," Jihoon calls as he controls hs breath. Jinyoung, who isn't sure that he recognizes Jihoon who called his name, looks at Daehwi. 

 

"Excuse me, do I know you?" 

 

"You didn't know me? It's me, Jihoon. Park Jihoon." 

 

Jinyoung shakes his head in puzzlement. Daehwi approaches them both. Jihoon grabs Daehwi's hand instead. "Daehwi, you recognized me, right? It's your Jihoon-hyung." 

 

Daehwi ponders for a moment, his expression tells a dawning realization about Jihoon's identity. Jihoon nods encouragingly as he waits for Daehwi's answer. 

 

"Ah, right, hyung is the one who caught Samuel taking a nap in the library, right?" Daehwi asks to confirm. 

 

Jihoon sighs wearily. Daehwi doesn't recognize him. And neither does Jinyoung. 

 

"I didn't know that you were Prof. Kang's spouse. I'm sorry if I didn't talk respectfully before," Daehwi says with a slight bow. 

 

Jinyoung looks at Jihoon in confusion. Who is that Prof. Kang? Daehwi's lecturer? 

 

Jihoon can only smile to cover the reality that he has to accept. Then he exhales. 

 

"Jinyoung-ssi, I'm sorry to ask you this out of nowhere, but can I have your home address?"

 

"My home address?" 

 

"It doesn't have to be the exact address, I only need the area. The district area." 

 

"Excuse me, why are you asking his house?" Daehwi cuts in. 

 

"Because I really need it. Could you please tell me?" Jihoon begs. 

 

Jinyoung glances at Daehwi, then he mentions his home address. 

 

Jihoon quickly expresses his gratitude and apology for bothering the two of them. Yes, he never knows the other name for the area where his house is located. 

 

Even though his friends can no longer recognize Jihoon, he can still have hopes about his family, right?

 

* * *

 

 

Jihoon steps out with his bag after paying the cab driver.  

 

This is the correct address, but he can't see his house. The house in front of him looks vastly different. The simple two-store house with light blue paint where he grew up in is no longer there. What's there in its stead, is only a modern, minimalist house that Jihoon cannot recognize. 

 

Even the great tree in that intersection is exactly the same as he remembers, but these houses are not only different, they feel like strangers. 

 

Where's everyone? Gradually, his mind flies to what Daniel told him this morning. What if he was right? What if he has truly died and left all of his past life behind? Jihoon's eyes start to burn in tears when the truth slaps him in front of his face. 

 

"I'm sorry? Are you visiting this house?" Jihoon hears a very familiar voice. The voice that he misses every single day, as he can remember, in his past life. 

 

Jihoon glances towards the owner of that voice. Lai Guanlin. Jihoon guesses correctly. 

 

The man whom Jihoon realized he has met a few days prior to this. Guanlin. 

 

Although doubtful, from the color of his face, Guanlin starts to recognize Jihoon as well. Someone he saw in the hospital, looking at him tearfully, meaningfully. Just like now. Making Guanlin perplexed on what to do, because Jihoon never breaks his eye contact with those tear-glistened eyes. 

 

"This house is my friend's, and coincidentally, he's not here right now. Perhaps you can make a call or visit him later. I'll tell him when he comes home later in the afternoon," Guanlin says carefully. However, Jihoon only stands there wordlessly. In front of him, Guanlin, whom he loves and loves him wholeheartedly, the man who nearly exchanges the sacred vow of marriage with him, is standing right before him without knowing who he is in the slightest. 

 

That young man's lips move slowly as if chanting the whisper of Guanlin's name. 

 

Jihoon catches his wandering mind. Holding back his tears and raking his brain to find an answer for Guanlin's offer. 

 

"Is that so? I see, thank you, I will be back later," Jihoon replies, a bit rushed as he's about to leave before he can't hold back from throwing himself to his ex-fiancee's embrace. 

 

"Excuse me, but, are you all right? I'm certain that this is our second meeting, and you've been looking at me as if you want to cry. Do you know me? Have I accidentally hurt your feelings?" Guanlin asks while holding Jihoon's arm. 

 

Jihoon turns around, shocked by the sudden touch from Guanlin. Puzzled, because the longer he looks at Guanlin, his chest feels more painful. He can't be seen this vulnerable in front of this Guanlin. Jihoon can't possibly fall down now. 

 

"I've told you, you've got the wrong address,  _baby_." 

 

Jihoon and Guanlin turn around, finding the owner of the voice walking towards them from behind Jihoon. 

 

Daniel. Without anyone noticing, he's already there, walking closer. 

 

Guanlin removes his hold on Jihoon's arm. Meanwhile, Daniel takes one last step, tucks Jihoon's hair strands behind his ear, then laces his fingers to Jihoon's hand. Holding tight, as if he can send more strength for Jihoon, who looks at him sorrowfully. 

 

Jihoon breaks away from Daniel's direction and looks downwards.

 

Guanlin clears his throat. "I was about to ask if he was all right. Your partner seemed unwell. Nice to meet you, I am Guanlin," he says while reaching out his right hand in handshake offering. 

 

"Daniel," Daniel replies without taking the offered hand. "And this is my spouse, Jihoon. Thank you for your concern," he adds while slightly lowering his head. 

 

Guanlin nods and pulls back his hand before putting it back to his trousers' pocket. 

 

"It's nice to meet the two of you, and it's no problem at all. Then I shall excuse myself first," Guanlin bids them goodbye and enters the house in front of them.

 

Daniel simply nods. 

 

Then, he focuses his attention on Jihoon, who's still wordless. Jihoon cannot hold it back anymore. His neck bows deep and he starts crying. 

 

Daniel sighs before lifting Jihoon's chin so that he can see Jihoon's face clearly. His eyes are swollen, seems like Jihoon has been crying for a while. That young man closes his eyes shut, not brave enough to look at Daniel. 

 

Daniel smiles faintly. Then, he wipes away the tears streaking Jihoon's cheeks. 

 

Daniel then buries Jihoon in his arms, stroking Jihoon's back, making the body of that young man shakes violently over the bursting cries as he hides his face in Daniel's broad chest. 

 

* * *

 

 

Inside the car, Jihoon only stares wordlessly, resting his head against the car door's window. 

 

Daniel is also the same. His mind is entirely in the wheels, and sometimes he glances to ensure Jihoon's condition. 

 

"Do you want to eat something?" Daniel asks. 

 

"Hm."

 

"I know you're hungry, we can go buy you favorite fried chicken," Daniel says as he makes a turn with the steering wheel. 

 

"Are you buttering up to me?" Jihoon glances. 

 

"You can say that," Daniel responds with a shrug. 

 

After buying a box of fast food fried chicken from the drive-thru, Daniel passes it over to Jihoon and starts his car again. 

 

And then, it falls back to another silence. 

 

"How did you know I'd be there?" Jihoon asks flatly. 

 

Daniel glances at Jihoon. "This is the last time you can act like that," Daniel says with colder tone. 

 

Jihoon glances back at Daniel. "I still don't get it. I really don't get it, Daniel." 

 

"You will. Perhaps, it's better if Woojin is the one doing the explanation for you." 

 

"Woojin? He knew about this? Whoa, the two of you agreed on lying to me right from the beginning? Hold on, does that mean Dr. Minhyung also cooperated with the two of you? What are you, really?" 

 

"I'm driving. Don't start this, _Angel_."

 

Jihoon laughs exasperatedly. "You took my memories. My family. My friends. Even Guanlin. My life, everything." 

 

"You don't understand. I saved you."  

 

"NO, YOU DIDN'T! I'd rather  _die_ than having everyone forget about me and being trapped in this despair by myself!" 

 

Daniel pulls the car over and stops all of a sudden. 

 

Jihoon is really baiting his anger.

 

Even though unsure, Jihoon sees a change in Daniel's slender neck. Vaguely, that blood red writing reappears there. It silences Jihoon all at once, his eyes blown wide as he waits for Daniel's reaction. 

 

That man only gets quiet, however, before taking a deep breath. Glancing at Jihoon who is stunned to silence. 

 

"Let's talk after we arrive at home," Daniel says coldly before restarting his car. He lets silence fill the atmosphere inside that car for the rest of their trip. 

 

-  **A F T E R** -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :'( 
> 
> well at least we got the panwink closure. Sighs.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ask, and you shall be answered.

Jihoon paced his car as fast as he could. 

His mind was thrown in disarray. This was the worst gift he had ever gotten in all 22 years he had lived until that moment. 

 

The transparent fluid flowed continuously from Jihoon's swollen eyes. His eyes were red, his heart was shattered, and Jihoon wasn't sure if he was going to be all right. It wasn't that he was being childish,  _right_? 

 

The image of his nearly perfect life disappeared in that mere second when the reality sacked him hard. Perhaps, Jihoon had simply been too optimistic, had only seen his life in rose tinted glasses. Or perhaps, Jihoon had fallen too, too far, in love. 

 

Jihoon was too busy with his thoughts that his hearing got numb, as he couldn't hear the non-stop klaxon horn from a gasoline tank truck moving from the opposite direction in such a fast speed right towards him. 

 

Honest to God, his mind was truly blank. Jihoon had given up, even though he hadn't planned on dying that fast. 

 

A glimpse of memory went on a replay in his head, a beautiful memory which twisted a knife that made him feel shattered into pieces. 

 

He started shutting his eyes close when the large figure of that tank truck reached a mere few meters from him. Closing in, as if it was impatient to touch him. 

 

Jihoon wasn't sure, because right before it happened, another car with full speed from yet another direction had directly hit and crashed into the right side of his car. 

 

The sound of tires screeching against the asphalt was too deafening for Jihoon's ears. Jihoon's car almost got thrown off air in an instant before flipping down, making such a piercing sound when the four-wheeled vehicle kissed the road upside down. Smoke was everywhere. 

 

It didn't take too long before an explosion sound was heard when the gasoline tank truck which nearly crashed into Jihoon's car also flipped over.

 

Jihoon knew he was dying. His breaths were short, he was wounded everywhere, his whole body was bleeding. His car was upside down, and his body felt broken into shards. 

 

Surely, this was his last day. It was enough to regret his carelessness, because he wouldn't have the chance to say goodbye to his parents, to Seongwoo-hyung, Jinyoung, Daehwi, Samuel, his friends, and Guanlin. 

 

Jihoon could no longer hear anything, as if someone turned the volume of the world down to nothing. The pain all over his body had disappeared, and so had his sense of smell. His lips quivered as if he wanted to say something, but he knew that sense had been taken away from him as well. 

 

Even though it was very faint, at least his sight was still functioning. A tiny bit. 

 

Vaguely, from his smashed apart car window, Jihoon's eyes caught the sight of a man, lumbered to reach him. 

 

Jihoon wanted to focus his eyes, but as time went on, it became even more  _blurry_ instead. That man squatted down, trying to peek into Jihoon more clearly. 

 

Jihoon couldn't recognize who that was. His eyes were way too blurry. However, that man seemed to sport some heavy wounds too. 

 

Jihoon wasn't sure how long he could hang on to that limbo. His mind was already disconnected, jumbling everywhere. Flying back to the last happier moments of his life. 

 

Until finally, everything went dark, and Jihoon was so sure that his time had truly, finally, come for him. 

 

-  **after**  -

 

Jihoon rubs his temple as he tries to understand each syllable coming out of Woojin's mouth. 

 

He glances at Daniel, who's sitting on the couch not far from there, busy with the laptop screen he puts on his lap. 

 

Jihoon sighs wearily. "I was the one who tried to end my life?" Jihoon asks slowly, more to himself than anyone else. 

 

"I- I'm not too sure. But that was what happened. If Daniel-hyung didn't crash into you earlier and letting that tank truck hit you instead, you wouldn't be here to hear this story. Poof in an instant," Woojin says, even though he's clearly confused to choose his words. 

 

Jihoon narrows his eyes, giving Woojin a look for his last words, making Woojin shut his mouth and shrug. 

 

Jihoon then moves his attention to Daniel, who closes the laptop before standing and walking towards his office. Without speaking a single word, or interrupting the talk between Jihoon and Woojin in the slightest. 

 

"Daniel-hyung." 

 

Jihoon turns back to Woojin when the latter calls the name of his  _husband_.

 

"He took me from the horrible streets when I was nine," he continues absentmindedly. "At first, I thought I'd rather die, when it was clear that nobody wanted me. My mother abandoned me. Those bandit thugs kept chasing and hitting me until I was all black and blue. I was at the furious point and nearly killed one of them," Woojin tells his memory. 

 

"But Daniel-hyung came before it was all too late. He grabbed me, and made me see the light. I didn't know him, and like a mute, all I could do was crying wordlessly. Daniel took me to his house before he moved here. There, at least I had something that meant everything to me. A family." 

 

Jihoon threw his face away when he heard that word. Really, Jihoon missed his family. 

 

"I was 12 when I saw Daniel's other form for the first time."

 

Jihoon's eyes looked back at Woojin inquisitively. 

 

"A demon. Daniel-hyung was that kind of creature." 

 

"Demon?"

 

"I can't tell you much about it, because I'm just a normal human being and these are all I know from books. I didn't dare to ask around either. It's just that, there's one thing that you need to know." Woojin's expression becomes stiff. 

 

"A demon can save a human's life by sharing half of their blood to that human and return that human back to life. Putting aside all the consequences of that gesture, they can only do that once in their life." Woojin sighs before continuing. 

 

"And for Daniel's case, that person happens to be you. Park Jihoon," he says, staring straight at Jihoon. 

 

Jihoon completely understands what Woojin is saying. Jihoon has read all of those information when he planned to create a new writing project. About  _demons_ , and all of stories related to them. 

 

Jihoon couldn't have expected that they were real, though. Even now, they all still feel like a dream. 

 

However, one thing intrigues Jihoon's mind. Even though he's unsure about what he read, and whether it was true or not, the passage in an antique book that he found once in the library now resounds in his head. 

 

_When a Demon gives their pure blood to save a human, the blood will flow within the human's body and mixes with their own. As time flies, a small mark will appear on their shoulder; a mark they officially become the Demon's property forever. Giving up all the things they once had, **to be the Demon's mate**. _

 

Jihoon stands up all at once, then strides to his bedroom. Leaving Woojin, who's only staring at Jihoon's back. 

 

Jihoon runs to the bathroom inside his room, standing in front of the wide mirror before the bathroom's sink. 

 

Jihoon opens the upper half of his shirt's buttons. Then he tugs the shirt down, showing his right shoulder and a bit of his white, milky smooth back. Without a single speck of scar. 

 

Jihoon gulps when he sees his reflection. Even though it's vague, a very thin mark is drawn beautifully near his shoulder.

 

The shape looks identical to Daniel's, the one that appeared for the first time when he showed his anger, and inside Jihoon's dream that night.

 

-  **after**  -

 

Daniel knocks on Jihoon's bedroom door, but no one replies from inside. Since that afternoon, after talking to Woojin, Jihoon hasn't taken a single step out of the bedroom. Who knows what that snaggletooth brat told him. 

 

Daniel knocks again, his other hand has been holding a tray of dinner for Jihoon.

 

"Jihoon?"

 

There's no answer. 

 

Daniel then decides to open the door of the main bedroom. It's unlocked. The lights aren't switched on either. 

 

Jihoon is lying curled under his blanket. Fully awake. 

 

Daniel walks closer. Jihoon shifts his body away when he feels the sharp air coming from Daniel, who's approaching. 

 

Daniel notices that, then he puts down the food he brought on the bedside drawer. 

 

"Am I frightening to you?" Daniel asks. 

 

Silence. 

 

Honestly, Jihoon isn't even sure of what he's feeling right now. Fear, doubt, confusion, anger, sadness, everything goes jumbled inside him. 

 

"I'm not sure what Woojin has told you." Daniel exhaled roughly. "You can be mad, you can cry all you want, or ignore me altogether. But don't hurt yourself by locking yourself in without eating." 

 

"I can't save you twice," Daniel says again, then Jihoon hears the sound of footsteps walking away. 

 

"Daniel."

 

Daniel stops and turns around to the owner of that mumbling voice. 

 

Jihoon is still curling up on the bed without facing him, and not intending to do so at all. 

 

"Why," that sentence hangs in the air for a few heartbeats. 

 

"Why did you save me?" 

 

-  **A F T E R** -

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Visual: [(edited photo)](https://em.wattpad.com/318d2086aec1bc7e7cf2eccffd9b55158eaa09da/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f3452355f637770377934427463513d3d2d3534353632343231352e313531613864373234383034656161343935383437313330333036342e6a7067?s=fit&w=400&h=400)
> 
> Watering the tag needs to be done daily! >:(
> 
> You should be grateful that English _knows_ tenses. That way, I can make things slightly clearer than if you read in Indonesian, such as the order of things. :)))))


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Selfishness has its price.

-  **A F T E R** -

 

"Why did you save me?" 

 

Daniel puts his hands into his pocket. "You're finally talking, hm?" 

 

Jihoon closes his eyes, feeling lethargic. He inhales a deep breath then decides to sit down and face Daniel. 

 

Daniel smiles faintly. "It's to pay for my sins," Daniel answers shortly. 

 

"Also, perhaps I'm also," he trails off, looks at Jihoon from top to bottom. "Attracted to you." He makes a small smirk. 

 

Meanwhile, Jihoon only falls silent, clearly not that satisfied in Daniel's answer. 

 

"Don't forget to eat your dinner, Angel," he says, gets up to walk towards the door. 

 

Without thinking twice, Jihoon immediately gets off from the bed. He half runs towards Daniel, keeping him there while reaching Daniel's toned arm. 

 

Daniel turns around and stares straight into Jihoon's eyes. Their sparkles have dimmed, but they are still as gorgeous. 

 

"Is there someone who still remembers me? Anyone?" Jihoon asks full of hope. 

 

Daniel closes his eyes and unlatches Jihoon's grip, intending to ignore Jihoon's questions. 

 

Jihoon doesn't give up. He grabs Daniel once again.

 

"Is there really no one? There must be someone, right? At least, one person? It's impossible that everything is completely gone, right?" Jihoon begs. 

 

Daniel snorts. "And if there's someone? What are you going to do? See them? Greet them? Say 'hi I'm Jihoon. Remember me? Let's go back to our respective lives then'. Like that, Park Jihoon?" Daniel responds while staring at Jihoon. 

 

It renders Jihoon speechless. Daniel is right. Even if there's someone who does, then what? Their lives have taken a totally different turn, and it'll just create new wounds for him. 

 

Jihoon loosens his grip from Daniel's arm and lowers his hand. He looks downwards. 

 

"I understand," Jihoon whispers, before walking back to his room. 

 

For the umpteenth time, Daniel rubs his face roughly. 

 

"There's someone." 

 

Jihoon turns around in a snap with perplexed look in his pretty, but miserable face, waiting the next words that Daniel's full lips are going to say. 

 

"Ong Seongwoo."

 

-  **a f t e r** -

 

Daniel spares a look at Jihoon, who's fiddling with his fingers. Jihoon's nervousness is too apparent. Daniel takes the initiatives to take Jihoon's hand and holds it wordlessly, making Jihoon snap back from his wandering mind. Jihoon tilts his neck to one side, but Daniel no longer looks at him. 

 

The elevator door is opening. Several people are getting in, making them both take a step back out of reflex. Jihoon uses that chance to snatch his hand back from Daniel's hold, but Daniel doesn't let him. 

 

Finally, they arrive in their designated floor. Right after they step out of the elevator, Daniel removes his hold from Jihoon then faces him. 

 

"Can I trust you?" he asks in a low voice. 

 

"Do I really have to do this?" Jihoon asks back just as softly. 

 

"It's the best decision for your brother. He has to accept the reality that everything he remembers never exist. You don't have any other excuse to affect that decision. He'll just get hurt even more," Daniel explains. 

 

Jihoon closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath, exhales, then slowly nods. 

 

"I'll be with you," Daniel whispers low. 

 

"You have already arrived." Minhyun, who accidentally passes the corridor with a nurse on duty walks towards Daniel and Jihoon after giving a few instructions to the woman. 

 

"Just now," Daniel responds casually. 

 

Minhyun nods his understanding. "How are you doing, Jihoon-ssi? I heard you have regained your memories, partially?" the handsome psychiatrist asks. 

 

Jihoon glances at Daniel. Did Daniel tell him?

 

"Yes, it's just as you heard, Doctor." 

 

Minhyun smiles. "We still have 1-2 counseling sessions left. I'll arrange my schedule for you." 

 

"And how about that?" Daniel interrupts with a question. 

 

"Oh. Follow me," Minhyun remarks before walking ahead of them. "Seongwoo-ssi. Initially, he's gotten better since his last counseling with me. However, I'm not sure what he saw or felt on the day when he was supposed to have his next schedule with me. He kept calling his imaginary brother in this hospital, whose name is the same as yours, Jihoon-ssi." 

 

Minhyun opens the door to one of the hospitalized patients' rooms. From the outside, Jihoon can clearly see the figure of someone who was always been there for him, loving him, doting on him so much. 

 

Seongwoo, who always smiled widely with his dry jokes, which were never funny but they never failed to make Jihoon laugh. Seongwoo who always gave him a warm hug whether in joy or sorrow. Seongwoo who always protected his only brother and gave the best for his beloved Jihoon. 

 

Jihoon holds back his tears with all his might when he sees that man sitting on a chair, looking outside window, as if all energy is sapped out of him, without doing anything else. Only staring straight beyond the window. 

 

Slowly, Jihoon drags his feet, both of which feel so heavy, towards Seongwoo. The closer he gets, the stronger his desire to give Seongwoo a tight hug, expressing all his yearning. 

 

Jihoon finally stands next to Seongwoo. Looking at the beautifully carved portrait of his brother's side view. 

 

Seongwoo turns and gives Jihoon all of his attention. 

 

Holding back every tremor in his body, Jihoon's voice creaks out. "Hi," he whispers, holding back the tears and smiles gently. 

 

Seongwoo smiles wryly. "I'm hallucinating again," Seongwoo says to himself, throwing his sight from Jihoon and lowers his head down sadly. 

 

Really, Jihoon wants to scream. Seongwoo looks like a complete mess, so fragile. He's thinner, his face is pale, and the black circles around his eyes are so apparent. 

 

Jihoon gulps and tries to keep his head cool. "Are you hyu- ..Seongwoo-ssi? How are you doing?" 

 

Seongwoo's eyes widen. He returns his attention to Jihoon in entirety. He's not hallucinating. The young man in front of him is truly Jihoon. Park Jihoon. 

 

"Jihoonie," he whispers shakily then standing up, making Jihoon tilt his face up a little. 

 

Daniel and Minhyun are still standing outside next to the door, observing the situation. 

 

Seongwoo throws himself to Jihoon and hugs him tight, as if his Jihoon is going to disappear as soon as he releases the hug. 

 

Seongwoo eventually does remove his hold, before quickly grabbing Jihoon's arm. He caresses the back of that hand gently, before looking up at Jihoon's eyes in joy. "Jihoonie, where have you been? Hyung has been looking for you, hyung misses you so much. Hyung almost went insane because you were gone," he says with watery eyes. 

 

Jihoon can't hold it back anymore, his tears already flow freely to wet his cheeks. His heart is wounded. Deeply wounded. 

 

"Why are you crying? Don't cry. I'm here. I won't let anybody take you away from me anymore." Seongwoo shakes his head, wipes Jihoon's tears with his cold fingers. Truly, this is too much despair. His eyes burn a hole in Jihoon's eyes. 

 

"We'd better get home now. Let's go see father and mother, they must have been happy to see you. It's been a while since we're all gathered together, right? Jihoonie, I'm really happy. Come on, follow me, we have to get out of here," Seongwoo invites him while making himself look more proper. He looks like a beguiled man as he takes his jacket and wears it in a rush. 

 

Jihoon can't stand it. Jihoon wants to be selfish; he wants  _someone_ to remember him. But, his heart is completely broken when he sees this kind of Seongwoo. His brother isn't normal only because he keeps memories about Jihoon. Jihoon can't bear it, he really can't bear burdening Seongwoo like this. Even when he wants to hug him tight and tells him that everything Seongwoo remembers is true, he cannot. Fate won't allow him. 

 

Seongwoo finishes to wear the jacket, covering the blue stripe hospital patient uniform that he's wearing. He smiles wide and holds Jihoon's hand, tugging him to leave. 

 

But Jihoon stands still. He keeps his head low, staring downwards, unmovable, puzzling Seongwoo in return. "Why? Jihoonie, are you hurt? Did someone hurt you? Why are you still crying?" Seongwoo asks. 

 

Jihoon sighs heavily before wiping his own tears. 

 

"I cannot go with you," he says softly. 

 

Seongwoo shakes his head before walks forward. "What are you talking about? Let's go home now, Mother must have cooked something delicious already, waiting for us at home." Seongwoo is still optimistic in persuading Jihoon. 

 

Jihoon is irritated and angry at himself. 

 

"I can't go with you. I have my own life. Seongwoo-ssi, you cannot act like this." 

 

"Why not? You're my little brother, Jihoon. You've been missing for far too long without any news, worrying me sick." 

 

"Come to your sense! I'm not your brother. You don't have one, stop hurting yourself. Don't you feel worried about  _your_ mother and father?" Jihoon curbs his tears and raises his voice. 

 

"No... not this again... I know it is you. Jihoon.  _I know my own brother_. Don't make me look like I'm insane. You're Jihoon, I've been telling the truth." Seongwoo's voice starts to tremble. 

 

"I'm not the Jihoon that you knew. Your brother isn't here. He never even exists," Jihoon says while trying not to cry. Because, honestly, how can Jihoon bear to reap away that warm smile from Seongwoo's face? 

 

Seongwoo rapidly shakes his head before removing his hold from Jihoon's hand. "YOU'RE LYING! NO, JIHOON, YOU  _DON'T_ GET TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE THIS TOO. THIS MUST BE ANOTHER HALLUCINATION. JIHOONIE, I'M NOT CRAZY," Seongwoo starts to scream. 

 

Minhyun approaches them now. 

 

In panic, Seongwoo holds his head and starts talking to himself, "I've let mother and father down. They all hate me. I act like I'm crazy. I just missed my brother, how come nothing feels right?" he whispers. 

 

Jihoon cries listening to every words that Seongwoo utters. He didn't expect it would be this painful. 

 

"Calm down, Seongwoo, you are all right. Calm yourself down." Minhyun tries to touch Seongwoo. 

 

Seongwoo swats that hand. "NO. I'M FINE. TELL THEM I'M NOT CRAZY. BUT NOBODY BELIEVES ME. I'M A BAD PERSON. I'M--" Seongwoo starts hitting himself.

 

"Hyung, don't do that," Jihoon whispers as he sobs. 

 

Several male nurses come in and holds Seongwoo, who struggles wildly. 

 

Jihoon sobs and weeps while watching everything. They don't seem to care if Seongwoo is hurt from their strong grips.  _Please don't hurt him_. 

 

Jihoon covers both of his ears so that he can stop hearing Seongwoo's sorrowful cries. 

 

Jihoon wants Seongwoo to stop suffering. He doesn't want Seongwoo get hurt even deeper.  _Jihoon wants Seongwoo to forget him_. 

 

Jihoon wipes his tears before walking out of the room. Standing there, barricading the pathway, is Daniel. Jihoon cannot bear looking at him. 

 

Daniel walks closer. He lifts Jihoon's chin so that Jihoon won't hang his head down again. Jihoon looks at Daniel wistfully, then he feels Daniel pulling him into his embrace. 

 

"Everything will be all right. Eventually, he will be all right," Daniel whispers. Jihoon then cries again inside those arms. 

 

-  **a f t e r** -

 

Daniel combs Jihoon's slightly messy hair from the wind. The latter only stares silently when Daniel puts on a helmet on his head. He's still unwilling to talk. Daniel faintly smiles before climbing up his white Ninja motorcycle first. 

 

"Hop on," he says. 

 

Jihoon follows Daniel wordlessly. He hesitantly touches Daniel's waist. 

 

Daniel softly chuckles, then he takes both of Jihoon's arms, pulling them to wrap around his waist, stunning Jihoon because it eerily feels like hugging Daniel from behind, so, so close. 

 

Jihoon wants to retract his arms, but Daniel keeps them still. 

 

"Hold on tight, we have a long trip ahead of us," Daniel says. 

 

"We're not going home?" Jihoon asks, raising both of his eyebrows. 

 

"Beach seems like a more interesting option," says Daniel while lightly smiles, lowers the glass of his helmet, starts up the bike's engine, and starts to pace, out of the hospital's vicinity. 

 

-  **A F T E R** -

 

**Side Story**

 

A few hours before. 

 

"What's wrong?" Jihoon asked when he saw Daniel re-entered the house after he went out to check his car. 

 

"There's an issue."

 

"And?"

 

"We'll go by bike." 

 

Jihoon watched as Daniel pulled out the white Ninja motorcycle that Jihoon rode with Woojin when he went to the campus for the first time back then. 

 

"Then what is Woojin going to use?" Jihoon asked. 

 

Daniel paused for a moment before gritting his teeth. 

 

"He brought this to the campus!?" Daniel asked with reigned emotions. His jaw clenched.

 

Jihoon nodded. "Wasn't that his?" 

 

"He. Said. This. Was. HIS!?" 

 

Jihoon didn't have a chance to answer, but Daniel already raised an arm, closing his eyes, and trying to breathe normally. 

 

Daniel gave Jihoon his helmet and told him to ride behind him. 

 

-  **A F T E R**  -


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beach, the rain. When time seems to come to a still, I want to stay there with you.

**\- A F T E R** -

 

"Are you sleeping?" Jihoon faintly hears Daniel's baritone voice. 

 

"No," he replies. 

 

"Don't fall asleep, we're almost there," Daniel says. 

 

"Hmm," Jihoon hums, resting his head on Daniel's back. 

 

* * *

 

 

The two of them finally arrives at their destination after 1,5 hour-long trip or so. Jihoon feels sore, but he's certain that Daniel is more tired because he was the one riding the bike. 

 

Jihoon is astonished by the view before his eyes. Daniel has brought him to a beach. 

 

Daniel sees Jihoon, who's still frozen in his feet as he watches the splashes of the waves. It's good that the sun isn't blazing hot right now; the weather is slightly windy instead. 

 

Removing his helmet and put it on top of the motorcycle, Daniel walks closer in Jihoon's direction. He takes and holds the small hand of the young man, then bringing him walking closer to the shoreline. 

 

Slightly stunned, Jihoon keeps his mum as he follows Daniel's lead. 

 

Daniel stops a few meters from the highest point of the wave--still in the dry sand area. Then he rests his butt on the sand bed and puts his arms on his folded knees. 

 

"Sit down," he says, glancing at Jihoon. 

 

Jihoon chuckles before sitting beside Daniel as well. "Good effort, Daniel," he whispers while looking at the regularly crashing waves. 

 

Daniel smiles thinly. "Are you done crying now?" 

 

Jihoon sighs. "Do I look like I have other tears left?" 

 

Daniel chuckles. "You're pretty when you cry," he mutters. 

 

Jihoon turns around to Daniel's direction. 

 

"But prettier when you're not," Daniel says, also taking a glance at Jihoon's direction. Their eyes lock for a moment, but Jihoon decides to break the spell first. 

 

Jihoon  _pinches_ Daniel's waist all of a sudden. "I'm a man," Jihoon retorts, trying to sound  _offended_ , even when the beats in his chest grow more erratic. 

 

Daniel chuckles. Jihoon's pinch felt like a breeze. What has stronger impact is actually Jihoon's deep red blush, which looks so adorable in his eyes. "Cute," Daniel mutters, loud enough to enter Jihoon's ears. 

 

Satisfied with the teases, Daniel sighs eventually. "He'll be all right," he says, making Jihoon look at him again. 

 

Jihoon smiles. He knows Daniel is trying to cheer him up. 

 

"Seongwoo. My parents adopted him before I was born. They both loved Seongwoo as if he was born to them," Jihoon explains. "My mother said that the news of my existence in her womb was the greatest grace in her life, after years of being unable to conceive. Even Seongwoo was really expecting for me to be born." 

 

Daniel listens attentively. 

 

"Seongwoo. He's a good man, and loves me very much. He's always there when I'm happy, sad, disheartened, and almost every important  _moment_ in my life. He's always been there." 

 

"Seongwoo is a bright man, full of confidence, optimistic, and greatly appreciated by others. But, seeing him like that, it broke my heart. It pained me even more than having him forgetting me." Jihoon smiles bitterly. 

 

Daniel throws his sight back to the open sea. "He will forget you," he whispers. "Eventually, everything about you will be erased from his memories." 

 

Jihoon gulps. Even though he doesn't want to see Seongwoo suffers, the other choice is still too hard for him to bear. "So... Can you tell me how I got here?" 

 

Daniel spares a glance at Jihoon. "I'll tell you when you're more ready." 

 

"Daniel," Jihoon calls.

 

Daniel stares straight at his eyes. There's no more fears there, only uncertainty and sorrow carved in those twinkling eyes. 

 

"For everything you've done, the thing that I still don't understand is. What am I to you?" Jihoon whispers slowly. 

 

Daniel lifts an arm, tucks Jihoon's hair strands behind his ears, stares at the face of the young man who brought colors into his life, closely. 

 

Under the dim sunset sky, cool breeze, his beautiful damp eyes, his small, thin pink lips that catch his attention all the time, and never forget, the hint of blush that constantly appears in his plump cheeks, they are so beautiful. Jihoon is beautiful. How many times have Daniel said it by now. 

 

"Mesmerizing," Daniel mutters, not really answering Jihoon's question. 

 

Unbeknownst to both of them, right now Daniel's face has come so close to Jihoon's. Jihoon stays still when that handsome face gets so close that he can feel the warm breath of that  _husband_ of his. Jihoon has been holding his breath for a while now, but he doesn't make a move. 

 

Jihoon is unsure, but when their lips have come so close to a touch, Daniel slides upwards to give a light peck on Jihoon's nose. 

 

"You're special. From the very first time I saw you," Daniel whispers, smiling gently. 

 

* * *

 

 

"Do you come here that often?" Jihoon asks. 

 

"My absolute to-go place," Daniel says and nods lightly. 

 

Right now, they're in a simple seafood restaurant which strongly exudes a homemade food vibe. An old lady with an apron approaches them, bringing over a menu book. 

 

"It's been a while since your last visit, Euigeon," the woman greets warmly while handing the menu book over. 

 

Daniel smiles warmly, so friendly. Even Jihoon has been taken aback by Daniel's attitude today. 

 

"I apologize. My job doesn't allow any chance of me to rest." 

 

The woman smiles her understanding. She glances at Jihoon before whispering quite loudly towards Daniel, "You've picked the right one, Euigeon," before winking. 

 

Daniel simply chuckles. "Let me introduce him. This is Jihoon. Jihoon, this is Aunt Lee, I've known her for a long time," Daniel says, making them acquainted to each other. 

 

The woman smiles warmly, and Jihoon greets back with the same attitude. 

 

"Your special _kkotgetang_ (crab soup), please," Daniel orders. 

 

"Aren't you allergic?" 

 

"You have shellfish allergy?" Jihoon asks, repeating the woman's question. 

 

"Not for today," Daniel answers carelessly. 

 

The woman nods her understanding. "I'll be right back," she replies, smiling, then leaving them to take their order. 

 

"You seem close to her." 

 

"As close as a customer and restaurant owner can be. But I do have been visiting this place for years." 

 

"Euigeon?" 

 

"My nickname. I used to come here with someone who called me with that name."

 

Jihoon nods, not asking further even though he's curious about that someone. 

 

"Why don't you just ask?" Daniel asks, chuckling. 

 

"What?" 

 

"How long I have gone here, with whom I went here with, whether or not that old lady knew about me." 

 

Jihoon raises an eyebrow. 

 

Their order comes. It really looks appetizing. "Enjoy, young lovebirds," the old lady says. 

 

"Thank you, Hana," Daniel says. The old lady smiles before leaving them alone. 

 

Daniel returns his gaze at Jihoon, continuing their unfinished talk. "I've been a customer since the old lady was young." 

 

Jihoon slightly chokes as he's in the middle of drinking. Daniel quickly reaches for some tissues before giving them to Jihoon. 

 

"You what?" 

 

"Hana, I met her when she was only 18," Daniel explains. 

 

"I forgot you weren't human," Jihoon mutters while shaking his head. "So did she know you real identity?"

 

Daniel shrugs. "I'm not sure. She never asks. That woman is too understanding," Daniel replies while starting to break his crab claws. 

 

Jihoon is supposed to feel normal, but somehow, hearing that bit of story from Daniel lowers his peaking appetite. 

 

Daniel glances at Jihoon who hasn't touched his food yet. "What's wrong?" 

 

"Did you have a special relationship with her?"

 

Daniel ponders momentarily. "Perhaps?" He goes back to spoon his food. 

 

Jihoon inhales deeply before peeling the hard shell of the crab. As he expected. They looked so close. Oh God, that woman is practically a grandma, why does Jihoon have to feel like this?

 

Daniel observes him without being able to hold back his emerging smile. He gives the crab meat that he has cracked open to Jihoon, and switches it with Jihoon's unopened shell. 

 

"Not as special as you may be thinking, Angel," Daniel says amusedly. 

 

Angel. It's been a while since Jihoon heard it. Jihoon makes an effort to neutralize his heart rate and finds another topic so that he won't feel this cornered. 

 

"How old are you?" 

 

Daniel ponders for a while. "A hundred years old? I'm not so sure. Not that old, actually." 

 

Jihoon really gets choked this time. 

 

* * *

 

After finishing their meals, they get ready to return, because Daniel has to attend a conference regarding his new research tomorrow morning. 

 

It is halfway back home when the rain truly falls and falls hard. Making them both drenched all at once. Before being completely  _soaked_ , Daniel stops his motorcycle in a hut to find a shelter. The rain is really heavy, but thankfully the sky is still bright. 

 

They're both standing under the shelter, waiting for the rain to stop, in silence. Daniel glances at Jihoon, who shivers with his thin, white shirt. That man then takes off his leather jacket and put them on Jihoon's shoulders. 

 

Even though it doesn't help that much, it should warm him up a little bit since the inside layer isn't wet. 

 

"But how about you?" Jihoon asks. 

 

"You're like a hairless cat." 

 

Jihoon smiles, shoving his elbow to Daniel. Then they both go radio silence again. 

 

"I'm sorry," Jihoon suddenly mutters. 

 

Daniel looks at Jihoon. Jihoon looks slightly upwards, to stare at Daniel, who's a bit taller than him. 

 

"I don't understand why I said that, but I just felt like it. Sorry, and, thank you," Jihoon says. "To be honest, I..." 

 

Daniel cannot focus on what Jihoon is saying. All of his senses are pointed at Jihoon's face. His damp hair, the droplets of water running down his face, his downturned eyes, and those moving small lips. 

 

Jihoon looks so small cladded in his jacket. Jihoon, Jihoon, Jihoon. His mind is entirely filled by that young man. 

 

Daniel has never felt this way before. He- He wants Jihoon. He wants to taste him. The lips he's dying for. 

 

Daniel can't hold back anymore. 

 

"Angel," he hoarsely whispers, efficiently makes Jihoon's rants halt. 

 

A few seconds after, Daniel lifts an arm to pull Jihoon's nape in, bringing his lips to mold into Jihoon's slightly parted ones. Meanwhile, his other hand hugs Jihoon's waist close. 

 

Time seems to stop and Jihoon is still not completely aware. Daniel kisses him, so softly and slowly. 

 

Daniel's large hand caresses Jihoon's cheek gently and he deepens the kiss by bringing Jihoon's waist even closer. 

 

The beat of his heart goes so chaotic that they seem to jump out of his throat anytime now. This is the first time for him, and Daniel's kiss is really intoxicating. 

 

Jihoon closes his eyes, kisses Daniel back, and starts to wrap his arms around the neck of the man with that large build. Channeling all of his anxiety and uncertainty. 

 

Daniel smiles between the kiss. His lips taste good and addicting. 

 

All problems aside, they both just want to stop the time and stay in this moment forever.

 

-  **A F T E R** -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for updating so late! The last time I typed this, the laptop restarted on its own and the half chapter I've translated are all gone. It was weeks ago, so you guys have to thank the latest commentator and @ongwinkie (on Twitter) to whip me back to life haha. 
> 
> There'll be many exciting events for nielwink on twitter, hope you guys can join them! 
> 
> This chapter contains a bit fluff because it was written on Diva (the author)'s birthday. xD


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Third time is the charm.

Jihoon stares at his room's ceiling--hiding beneath the blanket which gives him warmth in this quite cold night. 

 

His cheeks blush as he recalls what happened earlier this afternoon. When Daniel kissed him. 

 

Oh  _God_ , even his heart rate doesn't seem to have any intention of slowing down right now. 

 

Captivating gaze, charming smile in that handsome face, and his intoxicating touch, they all made Jihoon lose his mind. 

 

Daniel was gentle and loving in his every move, making Jihoon doubt about his decision, whether it is the right one or not. Even though this is the only option he has. To accept everything that reality shoves to his face, even if his mind cannot catch up with them. 

 

His mind gets distracted by Seongwoo. Having watched his brother suffer that much, it really isn't something that Jihoon can handle. Seongwoo is too precious and Jihoon doesn't want Seongwoo to be hurt deeper anymore. His brother deserves to live happily and  _forget_ him if that's the best for him. 

 

"Are you asleep yet?" 

 

Jihoon hears the knock on the door and the voice of someone very important in his current life. 

 

Daniel appears from the door and closes it behind him. The man walks closer before climbing the side of the bed, and lying down sideways next to Jihoon. 

 

Jihoon is only staying still while returning his gaze. 

 

"What are you thinking about?" the man whispers. 

 

"Seongwoo," Jihoon replies without cutting off their mutual gazes. "Daniel, you said he was going to forget me. So, why was Seongwoo the only one who remembered me in the first place?" 

 

Daniel smiles thinly. "Significant other," he whispers. "You have a huge part in his life. He was also the only person who witnessed the last seconds of your death. Or, to be exact, the moment I reaped your life." 

 

"But it made him suffer," Jihoon mutters softly. 

 

"It's like I told you. He will forget you, slowly. You need to prepare yourself for that." 

 

Jihoon tucks his head down, gulping. Imagining that soon, the memories of his past life will really disappear without any trace. 

 

"Daniel."

 

"Hm?"

 

Jihoon nods. "You're being unfair." 

 

Daniel raises both of his eyebrows. 

 

"You knew every inch of my life, while I know virtually nothing about you. You also keep shaking my feelings, but I don't think you feel the same." 

 

Daniel smiles thinly. Then, he reaches out his hand, playing with Jihoon's hair. This has slowly become Daniel's habit. "What do you want to know, Angel?" 

 

"Will you always be with me?" 

 

Daniel pauses for quite a while, as if wanting time to stop. Jihoon does so too, holding his breath and waiting for Daniel's answer. The reason that may have made him do all of this for Jihoon. 

 

Daniel then smiles lightly. 

 

"I'd do anything for you." 

 

_Daniel never answers._

 

* * *

 

 

Jihoon stretches his body, looking to his side. It's empty. Daniel must have slipped away right after Jihoon fell asleep, just the same as he did before Jihoon knew about everything. 

 

Jihoon walks to open the curtain. The sun hasn't risen high enough, it's still early. 

 

After washing his face and doing his morning routine, Jihoon walks downstairs to the kitchen, trying to find something to munch. He walks towards the fridge, only to find a piece of small note addressed to him. 

 

" _I'm sorry I can't accompany you for breakfast. Order some delivery. Hospital. - Dan_ " 

 

Jihoon smiles thinly before opening the fridge. Their food supply has totally run out. It looks like he needs to do their monthly groceries shopping. 

 

Jihoon glances at Woojin, who has just shown up from his bedroom and taken his shoes. 

 

"Where are you going?" Jihoon asks. 

 

"To disappear from my current life and become reborn with a new identity which will make my life more peaceful," Woojin replies randomly. 

 

Jihoon rolls his eyes lazily. "Care to give me a ride?" 

 

"With what? You told Daniel that I was using his beloved bike." 

 

"He handed it over to you," Jihoon replies, taking the keys on the dining table, then walking to approach Woojin. 

 

Woojin gets to his feet in an instant. "You must've been joking." 

 

Jihoon shows the keys and dangles them right in front of Woojin's face. Woojin makes a move to grab it, but Jihoon is already expecting that and retracts his hand before Woojin can even touch the tip of that item. 

 

"Who do you think asked for this?" 

 

Woojin's face change all at once, making Jihoon amused. "Jihoon-hyung, beautiful, handsome, kind, friendly, caring, lovi-" 

 

Jihoon pushes Woojin's face away to stop his cheesy praises. "Disgusting. Here," he says, handing over the motorcycle's keys.

 

Woojin snickers happily. That young man takes the keys and suddenly pulls Jihoon to his embrace, which shocks Jihoon a little bit. 

 

"Thanks, Jihoonie," Woojin whispers. 

 

Jihoon slowly returns the smile and the hug. 

 

* * *

 

 

"Are you sure?  _Shopping_ by yourself?" Woojin asks one more time. 

 

"I'm okay. You told me you were running out of time. Off you go!" Jihoon replies. 

 

"Call me when you're done, I'll pick you up. Or call Danie-- ah, that old man has no phone," Woojin grumbles. 

 

Jihoon smiles to calm him down. "It's all right. If you can't, I can grab a taxi." 

 

Even though he looks doubting, Woojin finally nods before he excuses himself and goes away. 

 

Jihoon enters the supermarket after that. He takes a trolley and picks some of the ingredients like vegetables, meat, fish, and others. 

 

"Jihoon-ssi?" Someone pats Jihoon's right shoulder. 

 

Jihoon turns around, to see someone quite familiar, which he has seen within these past few weeks. 

 

"Do you remember me? We met at the hospital," the man asks again. 

 

Jihoon tries to recall.  _Ah_ , that's right. A young, handsome doctor who helped him at that time. "Dr. Kim?" Jihoon asks to make sure. 

 

That man smiles and nods. "Just Donghan, please. We're not at work now," he chuckles. 

 

Jihoon doesn't really recognize him, as he looks quite different in his casual outfit. Without his doctor's coat, of course. He looks nothing like a doctor. It even crosses to Jihoon's mind that he has just met a member of an idol boy group. He cannot deny that [Donghan is really handsome](https://em.wattpad.com/d0ad3c7a57142dd755ad48e842040d731f517ca0/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f463764732d7871676d2d6f4755773d3d2d3535343631313830312e313532306532323038616433356163613638323234343331393736322e6a7067?s=fit&w=400&h=400). 

 

"Is there something on my face?" the man asks in confusion. 

 

Jihoon blinks several times, before shaking his head and chuckles softly. "No, it's just that you look really different." 

 

Donghan smiles too. "To be honest with you, I prefer this kind of appearance. I don't like looking too sharp," he whispers exaggeratedly. 

 

Jihoon chuckles. "Why? Do you wish you can make some women melt while looking at you?" 

 

"It can't be helped. I'd pick you, actually. But of course, I'm far from as charming as Dr. Kang." Donghan shrugs. 

 

Jihoon laughs. "Nice try, Mr. Kim." 

 

"Are you alone?" Donghan asks, helping Jihoon choosing some oranges. 

 

"Hm, the kitchen is totally empty, but no one is available to give me company, so here I am, by myself. How about you? No shift?" 

 

"I'm just here to buy a few necessities, and today is my rest day. Want me to go along with you?" the young man asks warmly. 

 

"It's all right. You'd better go ahead. I still need to buy some more stuffs," Jihoon refuses. 

 

"Your rejection hurts my feelings," Donghan replies with exaggerated sad expression, making Jihoon laugh again. Donghan is such a fun man. "All right, then," he says.

 

They're both walking side by side, Donghan helping Jihoon with the trolley. 

 

When Jihoon is about to take a carton of milk, a young man accidentally bumps into his hand and makes Jihoon drop the milk carton. The young man quickly turns around and apologizes. 

 

"Goodness, I'm so sorry!" he says, obviously feeling guilty. Thankfully, the carton doesn't pop and spill all its content.

 

"It's okay, relax," Jihoon replies, calming him down. 

 

The young man looks a few years younger than him. He looks really cute with oversized yellow hoodie that he's wearing. It reminds Jihoon of the time when he was still in high school and early college days, when he was really adamant on wearing his bright-colored hoodies and jackets. 

 

"Honey? I think we should buy this one for Mum-" a man's voice is cut when his eyes stare at Jihoon, who's standing right in front of the younger man. 

 

Jihoon returns the same stare. His world seems to stop right at that second as he, again, meets with someone from his past, Guanlin. 

 

"Oh hi, honey. Mum called just now to tell us that she cancels her visit today, so we don't need to prepare anything." 

 

Jihoon turns his attention towards the pretty boy in front of him.  _Honey. Guanlin called him Honey. He called him back like that too._

 

The young man glances at Jihoon and Guanlin a few times, trying to make sense of this situation. "Do the two of you know each other?" he asks. 

 

"Uhm, I've met him a few times. Once in your brother's hospital," Guanlin answers while still staring at Jihoon. He recalls that neither of their past meeting went that well. 

 

"My brother's?" 

 

Jihoon tries to calm his mood and smile, even though it tastes so bitter. "Oh, hello there. I'm Jihoon. I went to the wrong address and met again with Guanlin-ssi." He wants to run away right that second. 

 

The young man nods then gives his right hand out to shake. "Nice to meet you! I'm Seonho, Guanlin-hyung's fiancee. You seem older than me, so, nice to know you, Jihoon-hyung!" 

 

Donghan witnesses everything silently from the back. 

 

With a lead in his heart, Jihoon returns Seonho's handshake. Seonho is a sweet young man. Guanlin deserves him. As  _his_ replacement. 

 

"We haven't truly introduced ourselves either. Nice to meet you, I'm Guanlin," Guanlin says, also offering his hand. 

 

Jihoon only glances at that hand without being able to shake it. He though he was okay, he thought he could accept everything by now. But why does his chest still feel the immense pain when he sees Guanlin?

 

"Hey, Guanlin. I'm Donghan. Jihoon's friend." Donghan takes Guanlin's offered hand out of nowhere in a  _really_ friendly manner, making Jihoon feel confused. But he's grateful for Donghan's timely help. "Sorry to cut this talk short, but we're in a bit of a hurry." 

 

"Oh, sure! It's very nice to meet the two of you," Seonho says, smiling warmly at them, while Guanlin only stays silent and glances at Jihoon's tucked head. 

 

Guanlin then nods and they all go separate ways, leaving Jihoon only with Donghan. 

 

"Why did you do that?" Jihoon asks softly. 

 

"I didn't like the atmosphere, and you looked really uncomfortable," Donghan replies matter-of-factly. 

 

"You won't ask anything?" Now Jihoon tilts his head up, looking at Donghan. 

 

"I just want to help," he replies with a warm smile. 

 

* * *

 

 

Jihoon is preparing for dinner. He's making a soup after learning about it from the internet. He snorts because right now, he really feels like a housewife, cooking and waiting for his husband to come home. 

 

He's just about to turn off the stove when he feels a pair of arms circling his waist and pulling his closer from the back. 

 

Daniel. He leans his chin on Jihoon's shoulder while hugging him tighter from behind, making Jihoon shiver and forget how to breathe all at once. 

 

"I smell something good," Daniel whispers in Jihoon's ear. 

 

"I'm making some soup. I hope it won't fail," Jihoon replies, trying to keep his voice tone level. 

 

"Your cooking has never failed."

 

"I don't like it when you're lying," Jihoon grumbles. 

 

Daniel chuckles; Jihoon can feel his chuckling breath against his neck. 

 

"Since when did you arrive? I didn't even hear the door." 

 

"Does it have to be audible?" 

 

Jihoon snorts, turns off the stove, and removes himself from Daniel's hug. "Want to take a shower first?" 

 

Daniel shakes his head. 

 

"Then sit down, I'm making our dinner." 

 

Daniel smiles, ruffles Jihoon's hair, then follows his order to sit on the dining table. 

 

Jihoon puts a large bowl of soup in the middle and a glass of water in front of Daniel. Daniel never stops looking at Jihoon, who moves around diligently to prepare for the dinner. Then, Jihoon puts a bowl of rice in front of Daniel. 

 

Right before Jihoon goes again from his sight, Daniel tugs Jihoon's hand, surprising Jihoon with that sudden gesture, making him pulled across Daniel's lap. 

 

Jihoon holds both of Daniel's shoulders so that he won't fall down, while Daniel's arms have already perfectly hugged his waist. Jihoon's eyes widen as he stares down at Daniel's eyes, who stares back at him instantly from below. 

 

"You went out today, didn't you?" 

 

Jihoon gulps. Did Daniel find out that he also met Guanlin?

 

"I knew, Angel," Daniel smiles while playing with Jihoon's hair again. "Are you okay?" he surprisingly asks. 

 

Jihoon looks downwards. "I don't know. I just feel so painful every time I met him," he mutters in bewilderment. 

 

"I think you're ready," Daniel whispers while staring at him seriously. 

 

Jihoon focuses his eyes on Daniel's handsome face, trying to figure out the meaning of the man's words. "Ready for what?" Jihoon asks.

 

"Ready to know everything," Daniel whispers hoarsely, pulling Jihoon's nape and kissing it. 

 

Jihoon's mind goes wide open all at once. One by one, a series of scenes that he hasn't remembered before appears vividly behind his eyelids. All the puzzle pieces which have been buried and unsolvable are now connected together. Every second is precious as well as painful, slowly closing in on him. 

 

Daniel channels all of those memories through his kiss. Without noticing it, Jihoon's tear drops, right when the kiss is over. 

 

-  **A F T E R** -

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey, how are you guys doing? I haven't read nor translated (or written) anything since November, apologies for that.
> 
> With this, we've met the halfway point of this story. Let's sprint to the end! I think I can promise you a chapter a day at least haha.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The grand flashback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed.

"You'd better cancel it."

 

"Hyung, I'm not in the mood for a joke." Jihoon sighed while putting his books to a pile and closing his laptop. 

 

"Do you seriously think I'm still joking around, after my punch to his face that he deserved because of what he did to you!?" Seongwoo's tone spiked up. 

 

Jihoon sighed deeply, then closed his eyes. "I just want to believe in him, and wait for him to explain it to me in person." His voice hinted his exhaustion. 

 

"Up to you then. I hope you won't act stupidly." Holding his surging emotions in check, Seongwoo decided to leave from Jihoon's apartment, to give his brother a bit of time.

 

Seongwoo was already at the limit of his patience, but Jihoon still chose to think positive. After being left alone, Jihoon's legs weakened, urging him to sit down on the sofa. Jihoon took his cellphone, then typed someone's name, whose owner occupied a special spot in his heart.  _ **Guanlinie**_ ♥. 

 

Taking a deep breath, Jihoon pressed the call button.

 

The first call went unanswered. Just like always. 

 

The second call went just the same. If Jihoon's mind was still collected at this time, and everything that both Seongwoo and Jinyoung was just some made up bullshit, Jihoon would have ended his call right in that second. And then he would have sent a short message ' _Fighting!_ ' because the only possibility for the unanswered call was that Guanlin was on a meeting outside. 

 

However, in the third call, Guanlin picked it up. 

 

" _Ji?_ " someone across the phone greeted him. 

 

"Where are you?" 

 

" _Me? Oh, I'm in Appa's room. Uhm, I'm a little busy right now. I'll call you back in an hour, all right?_ " 

 

"It's okay, I just want to see you all of a sudden." 

 

" _I'll come to you this afternoon then. See you_ later."

 

Jihoon ended the call and bit his lip in hesitation. Did he really need to doubt Guanlin after reaching this far? He had known that young man for 7 years. And Guanlin never lied to him. 

 

Guanlin was a year younger than him, but because of his above average intelligence, he entered the acceleration route and graduated earlier than him. Even in his considerably young age, Guanlin already took the mantle of the second highest position in his family company. 

 

Guanlin was a nice, kind, and polite man without any blemish. Jihoon wasn't even sure that he already deserved to be Guanlin's spouse officially in just a few weeks. Guanlin loved him, and so did Jihoon. They never found a speck of mistake which could start off a crack in their 4-year ongoing relationship. They were fine and would always be fine. At least, that was what in Jihoon's mind. 

 

Putting aside everything else that he meant to do, Jihoon grabbed his bag and car keys. While slightly hurrying and doubtful, Jihoon ran his car towards Guanlin's apartment, which only took thirty minutes from his own. 

 

As soon as he arrived, Jihoon stepped his foot into the ninth floor. He inhaled deeply before punching the password of that door and entered the room. 

 

There was no one in the living room. However, Jihoon saw a pair of lady's flat shoes right next to a pair of shoes which belonged to, and Jihoon was very certain of it, Guanlin. 

 

Faintly, Jihoon heard a conversation from the front bedroom. Pressing down all the chaotic thoughts which threatened to suffocate his chest, Jihoon walked slowly towards the slightly open door of that bedroom. 

 

Jihoon saw Guanlin in his smart dress shirt, standing tall with his back facing Jihoon while rubbing his temple. In front of him, a long haired young woman wearing a knee-length pink dress was speaking up her thoughts. 

 

"I can't do this, Guanlin. I can't meet your parents and explain everything. I'm not ready," the girl said. 

 

"I've taken care of everything. All you have to do is to keep silent and show your face. I'll do the talking." 

 

"And what about your fiancee?" 

 

"That's none of your business," Guanlin retorted coldly. 

 

"Not my business? All right, listen to me, Mr. Lai. I know that you must have been thinking that currently, I seem like an evil woman trying to destroy your happine-" 

 

"Stop it."

 

"Yeah, right. I just need to follow whatever you tell me and everything will be all just fine and dandy."

 

"Yoo-ssi." 

 

"But have you ever thought about what someone else could've been thinking aside of your miserable lif-" 

 

"THEN DO YOU WANT ME TO BE IRRESPONSIBLE OF THE IDIOCY THAT I DID THAT NIGHT?" Guanlin's high bellowing voice made the girl jump. 

 

That was the first time for Jihoon to see Guanlin in that spot, driven to the corner until he had to yell like that. And to a woman, no less. 

 

Jihoon really wished he could deafen his ears and blind his eyes of everything that he saw right then. Jihoon was hurt, but he could see the pain from the girl's eyes too. 

 

"Idiocy, of course," the girl muttered while smiling bitterly. Just a moment after, Jihoon could see the girl being nauseous. Guanlin readily approached her and held her from throwing up. He looked full of concern. 

 

Right in that moment, the girl noticed Jihoon's presence, who was still slowly shaking his head, trying to hold back his tears. It was followed by Guanlin's eyes, stoned to Jihoon's weak look. 

 

Jihoon was devastated. Guanlin knew that so very clearly. 

 

_He was his sun. But it burned him too much._

 

Guanlin walked towards Jihoon, followed by Jihoon's legs which took steps backwards. 

 

Beads of tears already dropped entirely to the ground. Between believing or not, Jihoon could only desperately wish that this was all just a dream. Their wedding was in three weeks, and here he saw Guanlin together with a woman who had his child in her womb. 

 

"Ji," Guanlin whispered, full of guilt. 

 

"I thought you loved me," Jihoon uttered while keeping his steps backwards. 

 

"Let me explain first, okay?" 

 

"You said there would only be the two of us."

 

"Ji."

 

"You lied.

You lied, too many times." 

 

Jihoon finally stopped and sobbed in tears. Guanlin didn't take another step closer, no matter how much he ached to embrace that small figure; he knew he didn't have any rights to do so. He knew his position right now. He had hurt his beloved Jihoon, as deep as he loved him. 

 

After quite a while, Jihoon finally stopped crying and rubbed the remnants of tears from his face. 

 

"Tell me this isn't true. Tell me that you have a reason, and I'll believe you," Jihoon muttering, waiting for Guanlin. His small lips puckered, his gaze unsteady. 

 

Guanlin only glanced at him and inhaled deeply. 

 

"Tell me," Jihoon asked hoarsely. 

 

"I'm sorry," Guanlin whispered, too powerless to look at Jihoon. 

 

"Then, let's break up," Jihoon replied, holding back the tears that threatened to fall again. 

 

"Ji."

 

"I'm hurt. You're too. Let's end it all here." 

 

"I'm wrong. I'm a jerk who wasted everything that we've built together, the hopes we've written, I've wronged you. I'm-" 

 

"She needs you, more than I do," Jihoon cut him, compressing all the suffocation in his chest. "Let's not meet each other ever again. Thanks for everything. It was nice to taste your love. Good bye," Jihoon said. It was final. He took off his ring and returned it to Guanlin, then he walked away, with all the battered wounds in his heart. 

 

Guanlin didn't follow him, and Jihoon was grateful for that because he wasn't sure if he was strong enough to deny himself of Guanlin again. 

 

Jihoon entered his car and cried in anguish. His phone had been ringing, signing that there was a call that he had been ignoring. Jihoon never felt this bad before, so bad that he started to feel numb. 

 

Jihoon laughed at himself who acted strong in front of everybody else, even though he was actually truly fragile. That fragile. 

 

* * *

 

 

Daniel looked at the silver Audi car moved in full speed.  _Is the driver drunk?_ , he thought. 

 

At first, Daniel didn't care when the images of the tragic accident kept flashing in his brain. He didn't like to meddle with human affairs, nor he had any intention to. 

 

But, again, the shadows of a dozen of innocent kindergarten children, elders who had just gotten their retirement fund, several highschoolers who had just celebrated their graduation, as well as a man who was on the way to the hospital to visit his wife and newly born son, and their lives which would be lost along with the crash and explosion of a tanker truck kept haunting his mind. 

 

Daniel roughly sighed because he had to intervene with human affairs after a long time. He raced his car towards the silver Audi before the car crashed into the tanker truck in front of it. 

 

Daniel pressed the gas pedal harder, counting down mentally the seconds before he crashed his car into that silver Audi. 

 

Right before the car touched the truck, Daniel's car already went on full speed, grazed the right side of that silver Audi. 

 

The tires and asphalt screeched deafeningly. The silver Audi was a breath away from being thrown over, then it rolled over, causing loud crashing sound as it kissed the road again, upside down. Smoke was everywhere. 

 

It didn't take long before an explosion resounded after the truck which almost hit the silver Audi slanted sideways. 

 

Daniel slowly opened his eyes. His breath was ragged. His car crashed into the roadside lamp post. His car's window was shattered, and his front bumper was utterly destroyed. He felt pain from his head and Daniel could feel fresh blood running out of his forehead. 

 

With much effort, Daniel went out of his car while dragging his feet. He looked around the truck, the driver certainly could no longer be saved. 

 

Then his eyes looked around the kindergarten children who cried above the sidewalk from what they had just seen. As well as a bus full of passengers from all kinds of walks of life, and the other stopping cars. Everyone who should have died in this accident retained their lives, except for the truck's driver and maybe the one life which caused all of this to happen in the first place. And Daniel smiled thinly from the idiocy that he had just done--meddling with human affairs. 

 

Daniel limped towards the broken car's window. A dying young man stared back at him emptily before finally losing his consciousness. Daniel indeed saved many lives--by sacrificing the one life which should have still more time.

 

* * *

 

 

Jihoon suffered a fatal cerebral hemorrhage. He was also wounded all over his body, including his vital organs. 

 

One, two, three, six months had passed since the accident, but Jihoon was still content being in a comatose in the hospital's ICU. 

 

Even though he was refused blatantly, Guanlin kept coming in to visit Jihoon every day. At least, once a week now. Guanlin also insisted to bear the hospital fees, no matter which kind. 

 

* * *

 

 

"Hey, Ji. Here I am, again. How are you? You must have hated me so much that you don't want to see me anymore, right?" Guanlin laughed bitterly. "Tomorrow, I'm going to return to Shanghai. Yoo's pregnancy has entered the seventh month now, and my mother wanted me to bring her to our family. They finally accepted her." 

"I'm really a jerk, aren't I? I made this all happen. I made you hurt, made you cry, made you-" Guanlin was powerless to stop his tears. "Do you know how much I wish right now to just die? To replace you, in this limbo between life and death?" 

"But I'm too coward, muffin. I'm not as strong as you. I, I'm weak. I'm too weak because my own love." Guanlin wiped his tears. 

"Wake up, so that I won't feel like a dead man. Even when you wake up, I don't think I can bear to see you again. Don't forgive me, Ji, never forgive me." 

"I'm saying farewell to you, I'll disappear from your face forever. So wake up, everybody is waiting for you. You deserve the best. You deserve all the loves. You deserve the world. And I don't deserve you." 

"See you again, if I still have the chance for it." 

"I love you," finally, Guanlin whispered in Jihoon's ear before leaving the room.

 

Guanlin left the sterilized room and wiped his tears. He didn't even deserve to cry over Jihoon. He then walked out and passed by a figure who also visited regularly. One of the accident's victims. Who knew if he had done the right thing by saving many lives, or the wrong thing for causing Jihoon to be dying like this. Kang Daniel.

 

"That was an interesting farewell," Daniel uttered with a thin smile when they both exchanged places. 

 

* * *

 

 

Days went by, weeks turned into months, and months turned into years. The seasons passed. 

 

It was two years since the accident. Jihoon still stayed the same, without any change whatsoever. Sometimes he moved his finger, but that was it. There was no other improvement. 

 

His brain was declared dead, and this time, Jihoo could be said as  _living_ only with the support of highly advanced machines connected to his body. Only miracle could wake him up. This sad news had obviously spread wide; family, cousins, partners, friends, and also fans of Jihoons writing never stopped sending prayers to her. 

 

Seongwoo was the one who didn't want to give up the most. Even both of Jihoon's parents had given in. He, on the other hand, believed that Jihoon would wake up. Because here, he also thought to have a huge part in Jihoon's accident. 

 

If only he could hold his emotions back then, if only he didn't leave, if only he could hold Jihoon back. If only. But everything was too late to regret. 

 

Not only Seongwoo, but Samuel, Jinyoung, and Daehwi were still hopeful about the return of their Jihoon-hyung, to be able to smile simply, spend time with them, just like always. 

 

* * *

 

 

That night, Daniel was the only one in Jihoon's room when Seongwoo stepped inside. 

 

"Have you been here long?" Seongwoo asked, sitting beside Daniel. 

 

Daniel lightly smiled. "Only for about half an hour."

 

"You know, Daniel, it wasn't your fault. The car accident already happened a long time ago, and you don't have to atone for yourself by coming even until now." 

 

"I just want to visit him. Don't deny me of this, Seongwoo-ssi." 

 

Seongwoo chuckled. "Okay, I won't refuse your visit." 

 

They stayed silent for quite a while, until the screen showed brain activity and instability in Jihoon's heart rate. 

 

Daniel stood up to check.

 

"What happened?" Seongwoo asked in panic. 

 

Daniel only glanced at him for a moment. 

 

"I'm going to call for the doctor," Seongwoo uttered before hurriedly exiting the room. 

 

Daniel closed his eyes and looked at the digital clock on the desk not far from where he stood. It was 21.49, one Saturday in an autumn. 

 

Three minutes before Jihoon truly passed away. 

 

Sighing deeply, Daniel then removed all the connectors to the machines from Jihoon's body, including the pipe going into his mouth. 

 

Daniel took a dagger from his sterile coat, then wounded his hand, sipping some of the blood that leaked from there. 

 

His sight wavered along with the pain that throbbed in his head. But Daniel had to stay focused. With some difficulties, Daniel managed to open Jihoon's upper clothes so that he could see clearly the neck of that unconscious young man. Daniel took his sharp dagger again before pointing it to Jihoon's neck. 

 

"What the hell are you doing!?" 

 

Daniel turned around to the source of the voice. He faintly made out the silhouette of Seongwoo, who trembled in anger and shock. 

 

Daniel glanced at the clock again. One more minute. 

 

Before he was truly too late, Daniel made a small slit of wound on Jihoon's slender neck before covering it with his mouth. Joining the flow of his blood to Jihoon. 

 

Daniel felt an unbearable pain stabbing all over his body, so painful that he was numb, before everything went dark. 

 

* * *

 

 

Daniel finishes his kiss. His breath is a little short and he feels as if he has lost much energy. 

 

Jihoon stares at him with blurred eyes. He doesn't know since when the tears have stained his smooth cheeks. 

 

He's too disoriented to react. He wants to cry, but his tears no longer wish to spill. It takes some more time before Jihoon knows who he is and where he is now. 

 

Then Jihoon focuses his attention to Daniel, who makes him tremble violently. 

 

"Daniel," Jihoon whispers. 

 

Daniel looks back at him weakly. 

 

"You're pale. Very pale."

 

-  **A F T E R** -

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, another chapter delivered. <3 
> 
> If you're wondering who was Miss Yoo when Guanlin in the last chapter seemed to be with Seonho... (despite it was also Seonho's family name lol) ....Well I guess you have to ask directly to Diva as our author. I forgot to ever ask this part to her hahahaha. 
> 
> @dwinkeu <\--- this is her twitter, go for it!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're going to need this song when it's time. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzHUWYzOq0Y

**\- A F T E R -**

 

Daniel ends his kiss. He feels a little suffocated, as if he has lost too much energy. 

 

Jihoon stares at him with blurry eyes. His cheeks are completely stained with tears since who knows when. 

 

Jihoon is too confused to react. He wants to cry, but his tears are refusing to come out. He needs a few moments to reorient himself and where he is right now. Then, Jihoon focuses his attention on Daniel, which makes his body shake violently. 

 

"Daniel," Jihoon whispers. 

 

Daniel feebly looks back at Jihoon. 

 

"You are pale. Very pale," Jihoon's voice trembles slightly.

 

Daniel faintly smiles. Then, his fingers move to rub gently against Jihoon's cheek. 

 

"Let's get you something to eat," that man mumbles softly. 

 

Jihoon presses his palm on Daniel's forehead. It's warm. "Daniel, do you feel feverish?" Jihoon whispers full of concern. 

 

Daniel chuckles. "What? Am I not allowed to be sick?" 

 

"Can Demons get sick too?" 

 

Daniel shrugs, "I'm a living being too." 

 

That shuts Jihoon up and makes him think. 

 

Daniel chuckles in amusement again.  _Well, damn. He's really captivating, isn't he?_ That man suddenly pulls Jihoon who's sitting on his lap, bringing him closer. He stares at him deep, which makes Jihoon blush. 

 

"So you definitely want to eat in my lap,  _hm_?" Daniel teases. 

 

Jihoon's eyes widen as he notices their intimate positions. He lightly pinches Daniel's waist, then immediately removes himself. He walks towards an empty chair, leaving Daniel who already cannot hold back his laughter from how freakingly cute Jihoon acts. 

 

"Eat. I don't want you to be sick," Jihoon says without sparing a glance on Daniel. 

 

"Understood, wifey." 

 

* * *

 

 

"I met Guanlin," Jihoon says. 

 

Daniel puts down his spoon, waiting Jihoon to continue his story.

 

"He's with his fiancee, someone I didn't recognize. A different person with the woman who..." 

 

Jihoon sighs.

 

"...with the one who destroyed our relationship," he finishes, burying the remaining pain. 

 

"He didn't do it intentionally," Daniel replies, taking back his spoon and eating his dinner. 

 

"But he slept with that woman. It's the same." 

 

"He didn't intend for it to happen, then he decided to choose his fate that way." 

 

"Then are you going to accidentally sleep with random people, then pick one as your fate, and left someone who has spent years with you as well?" Jihoon's raises his voice, disagreeing with Daniel's words. 

 

Daniel lifts an eyebrow, then chuckles. "I'm not sleeping around with just anyone, Angel." 

 

"I like it." 

 

"What?" Daniel asks. 

 

"No, nevermind," Jihoon mutters while silently curses himself. 

 

Daniel then smiles dotingly. "Do you really think I didn't know?" 

 

"Know what?" Jihoon tries to be nonchalant. 

 

"You like it, don't you? The way I call you?" 

 

Jihoon shuts his lips tight, red returns to dust his cheeks, which makes Daniel laughs. 

 

"Be careful. I can read your thoughts, Angel," he says as he stops laughing. 

 

Jihoon puts down his spoon, making a quite loud clinking sound.

 

"So." 

 

Daniel feels a different air around Jihoon. It doesn't look good. He'd better stop laughing. 

 

"Have you really been reading my mind?" Jihoon asks as he tries to regain control of his breathings. 

 

Daniel gulps. This is bad. Really bad. 

 

"Yes, but." 

 

"No wonder you knew _everything_ that I was going to do. Oh, hold on a moment, will you? I recall  _someone_ asked me whether I understood the meaning of  _privacy_ or not." 

 

"I-I didn't read your mind constantly, really. I can only do that when-" 

 

"When  _what_?" Jihoon cuts in. 

 

Daniel sighs. "When you actually want me to know it," Daniel finishes. 

 

Jihoon's face contorts in a snap. Now he totally feels embarrassed, because, looking back at it, Daniel isn't wrong. 

 

Jihoon can only continue being silent and finishing his dinner, bearing with Daniel who chuckles once in a while at Jihoon's drastically ever changing behavior. 

 

* * *

 

 

Jihoon is sitting in the middle of the sofa while watching his favorite variety show in the TV. Without him noticing, Daniel, who usually shuts himself in his workplace at this hour, has already sat next to him, leaning on the couch. 

 

"Don't you have works to do?" Jihoon asks. 

 

However, instead of answering, Daniel chooses to lean his head on Jihoon. He folds his arms on his chest and closes his eyes. 

 

"How are you feeling?" Daniel asks, still with his eyes closed. 

 

Jihoon lowers the TV's volume. "My feeling?" 

 

"After knowing everything," Daniel adds the context. 

 

Jihoon deeply exhales. "I don't know. I still have no idea how to react.

I thought I would be screaming while wailing. But no. I dropped some tears, but that's it. It's as if I was ready for all of this. And my feelings?" Jihoon pauses, before continuing, "Empty." 

 

"So, 

do you regret all of what this has become?" Daniel asks again. 

 

Jihoon doesn't know. He really isn't sure of his answer. Being reborn, with the remaining of his past life. Betrayed. Robbed. Forgotten. Alone. Jihoon is lost in his thoughts for a while. 

 

"I, I don't know." 

 

Because he really isn't sure. Can everything be paid in full, with having Daniel by his side? 

 

* * *

 

 

Jihoon wakes up in laying down on the sofa, as well as being wrapped in a warm blanket. He tries to remember what happens list night. After talking to Daniel, Jihoon didn't realize that he fell asleep, ending up in the sofa until morning.

 

Jihoon looks around. There's nobody. Daniel must have left already, because the clock on the wall shows that it's 6.45 AM. Even if Woojin is here, that boy couldn't have been doing anything but sleeping soundly around this time. 

 

Jihoon walks towards the kitchen to take a glass of water. He sees a blue sticky note on the refrigerator's handle. Jihoon takes it before sitting on a chair, drinking his water. 

 

_Ong Seongwoo,_

_4 PM today._

_-Dan-_

 

* * *

 

 

"Are you okay?" Minhyun asks to reconfirm. "Or do you want to wait a little longer? So that Daniel can be with you when you see him?" 

 

Jihoon lightly smiles. "It's all right. This is something that I must complete on my own," he says, trying to stabilize his emotions. 

 

Minhyun pats Jihoon's shoulders before sending him off to the room's balcony, where Seongwoo has been sitting while staring at the afternoon sky. 

 

Jihoon bows to greet the middle-aged woman whom he recognized as Seongwoo's mother. Jihoon didn't know her, but she seemed to be around his own mother's age. The lady smiles sadly before holding Jihoon's hand. Jihoon can only return the gesture with a reassuring smile and rubs the back of her hand, softly. 

 

Jihoon walks closer until he can sit beside Seongwoo. 

 

Seongwoo glances at Jihoon, then he scoots a little to give him space so that Jihoon will be more comfortable. 

 

"Hey," Jihoon greets him. 

 

Seongwoo sighs. "Why did you come?" he asks coldly. 

 

Jihoon tries not to take the bait. "Do you remember me?" 

 

Seongwoo laughs ironically. He sighs roughly. "Don't make me repeat it." 

 

Jihoon smiles wistfully. "I just want to fix everything. Seeing you keep being distressed like this, it pains me too." 

 

Seongwoo then turns his head around in Jihoon's direction. Then he faces the other way. "Why must you feel pained? I'm nobody to you. And just like you said, you're not my brother either. Not the Jihoon that I knew." 

 

"I may not be your beloved brother. Not the brother that you protected wholeheartedly. Not the brother you've been looking for. And not the Jihoon that you've been missing either." Jihoon shuts his eyes close to hold his tears in. "Even if I don't deserve to replace him, do I really have no chance to be your friend? At least, to make you happier. And not staying here forever," Jihoon says, trying to keep smiling. 

 

Seongwoo stares at him in confusion. 

 

"What do you know? Why are you trying to be him, even though you clearly rejects the thought that you're my brother?" Seongwoo asks in confusion. His fuse is almost blown, but his heart trembles when he hears Jihoon start singing. 

 

" _Remember me,_

 _Though I have to say goodbye_." 

 

"How could you--" Seongwoo's voice trembles. That song. It was the song that he always sang for Jihoon before bed when Jihoon was still little. 

 

" _Remember me..._

_Don't wanna make you cry_

_For even if I'm far away_

_I hold you in my heart_

_I sing a secret song to you_

_Each night we are apart"_

 

 

Jihoon continues to sing with his tears dropped away. 

 

" _Remember me..._

_Though I have to travel far_

_Remember me..._

_Each time you hear a sad guitar_

_Know that I'm with you_

_The only way that I can be_

_Until you're in my arms again_

_Remember me..._ " 

 

Seongwoo is crying too, as he remembers all of his childhood memories with Jihoon. How happy he was when he was 8, hearing that he was going to have a little brother. How Jihoon's tiny fingers wrapped around Seongwoo's forefinger before he could even talk. How every night Jihoon couldn't get to sleep, making their parents panic. But then he would fall asleep so easily after Seongwoo sang him a lullaby with the strum of guitar that he played. That even when Jihoon was all grown up, he still asked him sometimes to sing that song. How he handed over the brother who could easily make anyone fall in love with him, to the school, for the first time. How Jihoon talked about how his day was to Seongwoo, about how many love letters he had gotten, about the  _sunbae_ that he admired, until Guanlin who managed to sway his little brother's heart. 

 

" _Remember me..._

_Though I have to say goodbye_

_Remember me.._

_Don't let it make you cry_

_For even if I'm far away_

_I hold you in my heart_

_I sing a secret song to you_

_Each night we are apart_ " 

 

Seongwoo joins the song with Jihoon. His sweet voice brings Jihoon to a smile within his tears. 

 

" _Remember me..._

_Though I have to travel far_

_Remember me_

_Each time you hear a sad guitar_

_Know that I'm with you_

_The only way I can be_

_Until you're in my arms again_

_Remember me_ " 

 

They both smile after they complete the song. Seongwoo reaches for Jihoon's cheeks and brushes his fingers against the tear drops. 

 

"Thank you, Jihoon. And, I'm sorry for making everyone worried. I, will forget about everything, and start a new life," he says softly. 

 

Jihoon smiles happily because Seongwoo is going to be all right, even at the price of erasing himself on Seongwoo's memory forever. Jihoon nods, agreeing to Seongwoo's words. 

 

"Can I hug you?" Seongwoo whispers. 

 

"Why not?" Jihoon replies meaningfully. 

 

Seongwoo then hugs Jihoon tightly, burying his face on Jihoon's shoulder, holding his tears in from crying more. 

 

Seongwoo understands Jihoon's intention. He cannot fathom what is going on either, but he chooses to trust Jihoon. To forget him, and move on to a new life. So that he can be happy, because at least, that will make the brother in his embrace right now, to be happy. 

 

"I love you," Seongwoo whispers in Jihoon's ear. 

 

"I love you too,  _hyung_ ," Jihoon replies. 

 

Loud enough to be heard, to make Seongwoo smile. 

 

* * *

 

 

Jihoon steps out from the restroom after he washes his face. Relieved. His business with Seongwoo is all wrapped up. 

 

When he exits the restroom's door, Jihoon sees Daniel standing in the corridor, waiting for him. Looking at him concernedly. 

 

Jihoon faintly smiles before approaching him. 

 

"Why didn't you wait for m-" 

 

Daniel's words are cut when he feels Jihoon leaning his head on Daniel's broad chest. 

 

"Are you all right?" Daniel asks. 

 

Jihoon merely shakes his head. "Tomorrow, he's going to forget everything, isn't he?" Jihoon whispers. 

 

"Yes," Daniel replies curtly. 

 

"Everything?" Jihoon whispers again. 

 

"Yes." 

 

"Daniel." 

 

"Hm?" 

 

"I did a great job, right?" 

 

Daniel then squeezes Jihoon's arms and moves him away so that his face can be visible for Daniel.

 

Jihoon isn't crying. He just looks extremely exhausted. 

 

"You did the right thing, Jihoon. You let him go. You did great." 

 

Jihoon smiles, then he hugs Daniel tight. Seongwoo won't be in this misery anymore, and that is enough for him. 

 

**\- A F T E R -**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long span of time.   
> This is for Ree who asked yesterday. And for Diva whom I'm going to meet today <3.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't do private schedule with a random nobody." 
> 
> "But I'm not a nobody."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed and I translated while being half asleep so read at your own cost.

**\- A F T E R -**

_**A month later.** _

 

"Today's session is over. See you next week," Daniel says, finishing his class. 

 

Most of the students start leaving that theater-styled classroom. Daniel begins switching his laptop off and getting ready to exit the classroom. 

 

Then his eyes catch the sight of someone who has been a part of his days for the past few months, standing right under the arch of the widely open exit door. 

 

Jihoon gestures a wave of hand with his fingers, along with a warm smile painted over his beautiful face. It makes Daniel chuckle. 

 

A few students on their way to leave the classroom are greeting Daniel, though, distracting him momentarily. 

 

After the class is empty, Daniel also walks closer towards Jihoon, whose current appearance will deceive anyone into thinking that he's also another student here. 

 

"The class is over. Your tardiness can't be tolerated," Daniel says, glancing at his wrist watch, pretending to scold "the student".

 

Jihoon chuckles. "I'm special. So, I have a private schedule with you after this," Jihoon says with a stubborn look. 

 

"I don't do private schedule with a random nobody." 

 

"But I'm not a nobody." 

 

"Fine, I lost this time," Daniel says while sighing, causing Jihoon to laugh. "Since when have you been here too long?" Daniel asks, taking Jihoon's hand into his and tugging him along to a walk. 

 

Jihoon shakes his head. "Just for a while." 

 

"How about lunch?" 

 

"It's already 3 PM, Daniel." 

 

"That's not a refusal if I know one." 

 

"But how could I refuse you?" Jihoon says, followed by more laughter from the both of them. 

 

* * *

 

 

Daniel walks towards the bathroom, while Jihoon is walking towards the kitchen to bring back some drinks. He has already put the food containers on the table. 

 

Woojin, still in his drooling face, gets out of the bedroom then opening those containers. 

 

"What did you buy, hyung?" 

 

"Chicken. Have you eaten yet?" Jihoon asks, putting the colas he brought on the table. 

 

Woojin shakes his head. "I didn't get a blink of sleep until, like, 4 AM. Today was the payback for all the sleep that I owed to myself. Where have you been?" 

 

"Walking around the campus." 

 

Woojin nodded his understanding.

 

Daniel approached them and joined in soon enough. "When's your graduation?" Daniel asks while pulling a chair for himself. 

 

"Third week of next month. You can come, can't you, hyung?" Woojin asks.

 

"I'll make an effort t-" 

 

"Of course we'll be there," Jihoon cut in. 

 

"Thanks, Jihoon!" Woojin chirps on his answer, completely ignoring Daniel's. It simply makes Daniel sigh from his super packed schedule. 

 

The door bell rings. Jihoon stands up and goes to the door. It turns out to be a postman. 

 

From  _Lai group_. 

 

Jihoon opens the envelope and pulls out the content.

 

It's a wedding invitation. For Kang Daniel and family. 

 

_Lai Guanlin & Yoon Seon Ho_

_This Saturday, located in xxx building._

 

Jihoon gets stunned when he sees that familiar name, being put side by side with another name that's not familiar. There's also a picture of guanlin, who smiles so happily with the young boy that he met at the supermarket back then. 

 

"From whom is it?" Daniel asks while coming closer. 

 

"We're going, aren't we?" Jihoon responds while showing the invitation to him. Meanwhile, Woojin can only squirm and stare from a safe spot. 

 

Daniel takes a glance on the document and instantly gets it. 

 

"Ji, you don't have to do this." 

 

"If there's something else you should do that way, I'll just bring Woojin with me." 

 

"Jihoon," Daniel calls to reproach him. Daniel doesn't want Jihoon to get sad anymore. This past month, they've been doing so well. 

 

"I want to get my closure, Daniel," Jihoon asks. "I want to wrap everything up. At least, to send my congratulations towards a figure who has been my companion for years," he says, heavily. 

 

"I'll go with you," Daniel can only respond after sighing. 

 

* * *

 

 

The wedding day finally arrives. 

 

Jihoon comes with Daniel's invitation, as the latter's plus one. Daniel keeps grasping Jihoon's hand throughout all the stages. If he can be completely honest, Daniel doesn't really like a crowd like the one you can find in a luxury wedding like this. If it's not for Jihoon, and the hospital's director who has been so kind to him, Daniel wouldn't have come. 

 

"Hi there," Jihoon greets Guanlin after he greets Seonho first. Meanwhile, Daniel engages Seonho in a conversation. 

 

"Hey," Guanlin greets him back with a friendly smile. 

 

"I'm really sorry, our past few meetings hadn't gone well," Jihoon says after curbing his awkwardness down. 

 

"Ah, don't mind it. I think I'm the one who needs to apologize for causing you some discomfort," Guanlin replies. 

 

"You remind me of someone. That's why." 

 

"Not a good memory, I gather?" Guanlin shoots his guess. 

 

Jihoon faintly smiles. "Not everything good ends in good term too, and the same goes for the opposite. I appreciate all those memories." 

 

Guanlin nods in agreement. "I'm happy that you think that way." 

 

"Congratulations for your wedding, Guanlin-ssi. I wish the two of you will be happy," Jihoon says as he extends his arm, offering a handshake to Guanlin. 

 

Guanlin smiles warmly. "Thank you, Jihoon-ssi. I wish for your happiness as well," he replies, accepting the offer. 

 

This time, Jihoon can finally let go. 

Of Guanlin, and all the memories about him. 

 

* * *

 

 

Jihoon is unusually quiet in the ride home. 

 

"Daniel," Jihoon calls at last. 

 

"Hm?" Daniel responds, glancing at Jihoon. 

 

"Are you busy tomorrow?" 

 

Daniel pauses and thinks. "Not really, what about it?" 

 

Jihoon finally twists his body, facing Daniel's driving figure completely. 

 

"Let's go on a date. You and me, let's have a date." 

 

Slowly, a smile creeps up in Daniel's face. His right hand rustles Jihoon's hair softly as his response. 

 

"Of course." 

 

* * *

 

 

Jihoon is standing in front of a mirror, trying to choose a suitable clothes that he needs to wear on his first  _date_ with Daniel, in his bright sunny day. They're going to the amusement park. Just imagining it already makes his face sport a healthy blush. 

 

Jihoon finally picks a white shirt plus a red vest to go with it, and a pair of blue jeans.  _Good,_ he mutters softly. 

 

_Knock, knock..._

 

Jihoon opens his bedroom door. Daniel is already there, cladded in white striped shirt, the two topmost buttons stay unbuttoned, black jeans, and everything that makes Jihoon cannot even blink. So dashing. 

 

"Ready?" 

 

"Uhm? Ah, y-yes," Jihoon stutters a little. Daniel takes Jihoon's hand in his, gesturing them to walk together. 

 

* * *

 

 

"Nervous?" Daniel asks as he's driving, before glancing at Jihoon. 

 

"A bit, yeah," Jihoon says. 

 

"Me too." 

 

"You too? How could that be?" 

 

"Nothing's impossible." 

 

"We've been going out together more than once, but why do we get nervous now?" Jihoon asks while chuckling.

 

"Because it's a  _date_ ," Daniel retorts, "and you did the invitation," he continued, causing Jihoon to cover his face with both hands. 

 

Daniel laughs as he sees Jihoon's reaction. "What's wrong?" he chuckles. 

 

"Eyes on the road," Jihoon snaps back, but Jihoon is still chuckling bemusedly. 

 

* * *

 

 

They both arrive in their destination after 45 minute long trip. Even though it started off a bit awkwardly, Daniel always manages to bring the chill back between them. 

 

Jihoon asks Daniel to play many attraction that pumps their adrenaline. It's been too long since the last time Jihoon had the chance to play around like this. Daniel can only shake his head in exasperation, because Jihoon keeps pulling him around to try another attraction after attraction.  _Is this really the same Jihoon that he knows_?

 

"Do you want that stuffed puppy?" 

 

Jihoon is eating his snacks as he turns around to see a shooting game attraction stand with various prizes. "Are you saying that you can use a gun?"

 

"It's just a toy. I'm going to get you the biggest prize," Daniel says. Let alone that toy, Daniel is already used to the real guns in the past. 

 

"Prove it, then," Jihoon dares him jokingly. 

 

The man in uniform who watches over the stand explain the game. 30 pints for the small doll, 70 for medium-sized dolls, and 100 for a jumbo. 

 

Daniel nods his understanding. He's very confident. 

 

Jihoon is waiting by his side. 

 

After repositioning hjimself, Daniel sends a shoot. It misses. 

 

"I'm just warming up, there are two more chances," Daniel says while defending himself. Meanwhile, Jihoon is laughing and chuckling.

 

His other two shots don't give him satisfactory result. He only gets 5 and 10 points. 

 

"One more round!" Daniel shouts while paying for another round to the stand officer. 

 

One shot gets him 25 points, a shy from 30. Daniel is severely hoping that his second shot will touch at least 50 points. However, luck dictates the otherwise. His second shot doesn't give him a single point whatsoever. As the officer holds back from laughing, Jihoon pats Daniel's shoulder while chuckling. 

 

"It's okay, Daniel, I don't need that doll. If I want it, I'm going to buy it by myself." 

 

"Just see after this. This last one will definitely get a clean hit." 

 

Jihoon relents. He nods and smiles, watching over Daniel who's still trying to get that doll for him. 

 

Daniel exhales loudly, counting inwardly before taking his aim. 

 

3. 

 

2.

 

1. 

 

Daniel pulls the gun. 

 

and 

 

HIT! 

 

Right in the 30 points. Jihoon yells in joy. Daniel puts down the gun before catching Jihoon who hugs him happily. It takes them a while before the let each other go in reflex, making them a little awkward.

 

The officer quickly congratulates them and gives Daniel a stuffed animal of a small white puppy. 

 

Daniel then gives it to Jihoon. The younger man accepts it in joy, a wide face splitting grin is stamped on his face. 

 

"Thanks, Daniel."

 

"No prob," Daniel responds as he gives an arm, welcomed by Jihoon, who slides his hand around and gets himself an arm hold. 

 

Jihoon also keeps poking around the puppy doll that Daniel gave to him. 

 

"Do you like it that much?" Daniel asks. 

 

"It looks like you, so much!"

 

Daniel chuckles. "Sky is darkening already. Which else do you want to try?" 

 

"Hmm, how about the haunted house? I heard they have a scary one." 

 

Daniel sighs inwardly. "Why do we have to go there?" 

 

"Why? You don't want to?"

 

"It's not like that, we can-" 

 

"Don't tell me you're scared of ghosts?" 

 

"I'm not. I'm simply-" 

 

Jihoon giggles in amusement. "Oh Daniel. How could you be scared of ghosts. I can't believe this." 

 

Jihoon completely loses it. He's laughing hard, imagining Daniel screeching in fear when he sees a ghost. That is completely far from his preconception. 

 

At first, Daniel wants to defend himself, but he pushes it down. His attention is completely focused on Jihoon's extremeley beautiful face who's laughing so freely. Daniel realizes that it's the first time he saw Jihoon laughing like this. Not a contented smile without any burden, or a soft chuckle that he often does. This one is really free, without any attached burden. 

 

His eyesmile gives a million beams of warmth amidst his laughter. If Daniel ever said that Jihoon looked beautiful when he was crying, this Jihoon who is laughing is far, far more beautiful. An angel. It's not a mistake to call him that way. 

 

If only he can see Jihoon being this happy,  _forever_. 

 

Jihoon stops laughing as he notices how Daniel only stares at him. "Don't you find it funny? Daniel, you're a  _demon_ , how could you be scared of ghosts?" Jihoon repeats his point with incredulous look. 

 

"Done laughing, now?" Daniel asks gently. 

 

Jihoon nods while holding back a smile. 

 

"Are you hungry?" 

 

Jihoon shakes his head. "I'm not in the mood for a hearty meal. Oh? There's an ice cream sandwich stall over there!" He points to a food stall not far from where they are. 

 

"Let's go then," Daniel says, pulling Jihoon's arm to go there. 

 

 

 

"We'd better find a seat, my legs are dying," Jihoon mutters while looking around. "I think there's an empty bench in that park. Let's go over there," he continues while walking ahead. 

 

Daniel follows him. They both sit on a bench in a quiet park. The atmosphere is comfortable. There are hanging lamps illuminating the park in warm white light. 

 

Jihoon eats his strawberry ice cream sandwich, while Daniel's is vanilla. 

 

"Want to try mine?" 

 

"I don't like strawberry." 

 

"You haven't tried it at all though," Jihoon grumbles. 

 

All at once, Daniel snatches a bite of Jihoon's ice cream sandwich really fast. 

 

"Why didn't you tell me!? That shocked me out of my socks!" Jihoon shouts, hitting Daniel's shoulder lightly. 

 

While chewing, Daniel shrugs and curbs down his smile. 

 

"Daniel, you're a messy eater," Jihoon says in amusement, taking out some tissue and reaching out his hand to wipe the ice cream stain in the corner of Daniel's lips. 

 

Meanwhile, Daniel only stares at Jihoon in silence, watching him diligently cleaning up Daniel's face. 

 

Feeling a bit awkward under the intense stare of Daniel, Jihoon finishes his job soon enough and takes his hand back. 

 

But before that can happen, Daniel holds Jihoon's wrist loosely. "Thank you," he says, "For smiling a lot today." 

 

Jihoon smiles. "Thanks to you too." 

 

"Daniel," Jihoon calls him. 

 

"Hm?" 

 

"After all that's happening all this time, I just realized that we never introduced ourselves to each other properly." 

 

"What for would that be?" 

 

"Well, because everybody needs to-" 

 

"Hi, angel. I'm Kang Daniel, nice to meet you," Daniel cuts in, making Jihoon show a bashful smile. 

 

"Hi, Daniel. My name is Kang Jihoon, nice to m-" 

 

Again, Daniel doesn't let Jihoon finish his sentence, because that Kang man already pulls him close and locks his cold lips from the ice cream in a very warming kiss. 

 

Jihoon slowly closes his eyes, pouring back into Daniel's soft, undemanding kiss. 

 

It must be nice, to be in love and all. 

But, what if both of us are afraid. To feel that word 'love', once again? 

 

**\- A F T E R -**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeay, another chapter to go~ 
> 
> [here's their visualization](https://em.wattpad.com/a049ea69da012c7d89e5d6805adb1529aa8b580b/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f314e327473766e73726b314d46513d3d2d3536323435393233312e313532373136663663316162616433373836313431383537343938342e6a7067?s=fit&w=400&h=400)

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any questions, look me up in [Twitter](https://twitter.com/runielwink) or [Curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/runielwink/)~


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